I was born in 1985. I always liked that, it made calculating my age seem way easier, since I can just count by 5’s.
And last month? I turned six 5’s old.
I think the hardest part about turning 30 is reconciling where my life is with where I imagined it would be. Expectations are such a crapshoot for me.
(I actually don’t understand that saying at all, but crapshoot sounds like shit hitting the fan, so I’m using it literally here.)
I thought I’d have a couple more kids by now.
I thought I’d be about 30lbs lighter.
I thought I’d be more confident. More sure of myself.
I thought I’d have travelled more.
I thought I’d be stronger spiritually.
I thought I’d be more accomplished In my writing, or my dancing, or my…..anything.
I thought I would have lived more. Had more adventures. Appreciated the small moments.
And I fell short, on all of it.
I’m not saying that my life isn’t in a good place, and I wouldn’t change a single thing that would lead to not having either of these two wonderful babies.
But not meeting those expectations? That was hard.
Kurt asked me if I wanted to celebrate the last few hours of my 20s with a cool countdown.
“No. This is a time for mourning.”
He accused me of dramatics, and I reminded him of his week long battle with sorrow at the death of his youth 3 years ago.
Turning 30 is no joke.
The next day was a party. And I’m good now. Once I was done mourning my youth, I jumped right into enjoying my middle age.
30 has been pretty great so far. I have a few more gray hairs and wrinkles than I did two days ago, but that is respectable in a lady my age.
When you turned 30, how did you handle it?
I find her sense of style intimidating
Taking her babies for a walk
Right before this, she was wearing pants and had bare feet. I ran over to wrestle some shoes away from Leo’s mouth, and not even two minutes later she walked by like this.
fake louis vuitton watchI find her sense of style intimidating. #dontjudgemebymyyogapants
Syndil slept in a little, and then when she woke up she quietly got a book, and took it to bed to read.
Then she went and got another one, and another one.
She read in bed for an hour and a half before deciding she was ready to come downstairs and see us.
It was wonderful.
Well, hi. I’m Helena. Igrew up on a blueberry farm in Western Michigan. My days were spent reading on the beach in the summer, and reading in my bedroom under a quilt in the chilly Michigan winter. I moved out to Utah to go to school, and to get away from my family. You know, typical angsty teenager stuff. While out there, I met this guy named Kurt, who was also from Michigan. But we were just friends.
Flash forward 9 years. We got married, and then we moved to Pittsburgh so he could go to Dental School. What can I say, the guy likes teeth. Now we have a little girl, a baby boy, two little turtles, and a whole new adventure ahead of u
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