My sister in law hates me. Probably.

This afternoon, I called my sister in law. And yelled "Asshole!" into her answering machine. Then I hung up.

BY ACCIDENT.

And now? We are enemies. Probably. Here, let me know what you think:

I was coming back from my doctor's appointment a few hours ago (which was actually scheduled for yesterday. Awesome.), and I decided to call Annie.

She didn't answer, so I thought I'd leave a little "Hey! I miss you! Let's talk soon!" message.

BUT THEN, I got cut off. Cut.Off. And we're not talking a little he-pulled-out-and-didn't-speed-up-enough cutting off. Oh no, this van sped up, merged 2 feet in front of me, AND HIT HIS BREAKS. Then, after almost causing an effing 4 car pile up, this genius made me back up SO HE COULD PARALLEL PARK.

Since my horn doesn't work right now, I yelled "ASSHOLE!" At the top of my lungs.

...right into my sister in-laws answering machine.

I gasped, and hung up in horror.

Looking back, there are so many ways I could have handled this.

I could have followed with "...not you. The guy who just tried to kill me."

Or I could have stayed on the line, and deleted the message.

But nope. I hung up. Guaranteeing that she will hear it.

She will also hear my next message; an apology between bursts of hysterical laughter. But she will get the "asshole" message first, and if she stops there... this could get awkward. Especially at the baby shower.

What would you do if you checked your messages, and heard that from me?






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Just a little midnight snack...

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I am so ashamed.

....I just bought the Big Mac Deal on Livingsocial.

And now I feel disgusting.

But you guys, it was SUCH a good deal.

So 4 months (and 20lbs) from now, I need you all to remind me of a few things:

I KNEW BETTER.

IT'S COMPLETELY MY FAULT.

I DID THIS TO MYSELF.

...AND I ENJOYED EVERY BITE.



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I'm so sorry if doing your job is inconvenient to your social life.

Ugh. I have one word to describe my frustration: Comcast.

I know, I know- who doesn't have issues with this internet provider?

But hear me out. It's not because of their sketchy internet (although that was one of the main reasons we cancelled last year).

It's because of their rude customer service agents.

After months of sharing the internet with our extremely friendly neighbors (a fantastic deal, as we split the cost), we have decided to try again. This is partly because when our neighbors go on vacation, and the internet goes out, we have no way of pushing the reset button.

(On a completely unrelated note, my apartment complex frowns on breaking and entering.)

So that was my assignment this week. Find our own internet.

I started with Comcast. I looked up their prices, and then compared them to Verizon.

Hmm. Verizon is looking a bit cheaper.

Still, Comcast is familiar. And I have to start somewhere.

So this morning, I got on my cell phone and gave them a call. The guy who answered the phone set me at ease immediately. He was friendly, and helpful, and on the other side of the country.

Shoot. They routed me to the Utah office, because that's where my cell number is from.

We laughed about the mix up, and then he kindly transferred me to the Pittsburgh office.

Where I was treated like crap.

"Hi! I am looking into getting the internet set up at my home. And I was hoping you could tell me about the prices."

"Um, ok. Are you calling to have the internet installed?"

Those words sound so innocent here, but believe me, they were not. He was talking down at me like I was stupid. It was a total "you're wasting my time" kind of voice.

The rest of the call went pretty much like that. Him sighing loudly, being almost-sarcastic, and generally treating me like I was a waste of oxygen.

WHAT THE HELL, COMCAST? I am the customer. I'm sorry if doing your job is inconvenient to your social life. I get that you are being asked to do such terrible things like sitting on your butt, answering the phone, and typing on a keyboard.

But do you have to take it out on me?

I am so tired of bitchy sales clerks, and customer service people who act like I'm ruining their life by asking them to do their job. You don't feel like opening a dressing room, looking up a price, or answering the phone? TOUGH SHIT.

Maybe it's my fault for not saying something. Maybe I smile too much, or back down too easily. Maybe I have a sign on my back saying "kick this one, she won't hit back."

And maybe I just need to lose my temper, and start talking to them like they talk to me. If it all escalates, and I get a reputation at the local police station, well, what can I say? At least I stood up for myself.

...but I probably won't. Instead, I will grit my teeth, and keep the peace, and then spend the rest of the day running different scenarios through my mind, and muttering under my breath like a crazy person.

So in conclusion, I will be calling Verizon tomorrow. And if they are nice to me, I will sign up in a heartbeat.


So how about you? Do you have any Comcast stories? Or stories about rude sales people in general? Because I would Love to hear them.

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YES!

I did it! 111 pages later, and I am really done. It was...intense. And, again, completely my fault. But hey, it's finished, and I had better get an A.

...Oops. I mean, I would love to get an A (or else).

Let the Christmas Season Re-Commence!



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Note to Self: Don't ever do this again. Ever.

I am going crazy.

It could have to do with my lack of sleep. Or maybe my aching fingertips. Or the fact that I have done nothing but stare at a computer screen for the past week.

...Ok, that is a slight exaggeration. But I feel like that's all I've done.

In case you are wondering why I haven't been around (either on my blog, or in real life), I am going to paste an email I sent to a friend at 5 in the morning.

And you can just apply it to every situation where I didn't show up, or in some way let you down.

Hi Jamie,

I haven't gone to bed yet. I've been writing papers like crazy, trying to finish that independent study class I've been procrastinating. I have to have everything turned in by tomorrow night, and I honestly had no idea how crazy it would be.

I knew about the 33 page paper. I didn't realize that there were 6 other projects due for each of the 11 lessons. All together I need to write approximately 111 (that's not a typo) pages. I've done about 40.

Its intense.

I wanted to explain all of this because, well, I am overwhelmed and it helps to talk about it. I realize that this is entirely my fault, but that realization just doesn't bring much comfort.

Also, I wanted you to know that when I stand you up tomorrow, I really do have a legitimate reason. A crazy, stupid, completely my fault, legitimate reason.

If there was any way for me to make fudge and hang out and still pass my class, you know I would be all over that. But between right now and midnight tomorrow, I see nothing but a keyboard in my future.

I'm sorry.

I would draw a stick figure, or find an image of someone buried in a pile of textbooks, but I honestly have no time.

If you want to draw one for me, though, I'll happily paste it in.

Wish me luck you guys.

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If you are looking for something more entertaining to read, just scroll down to the bottom of this page, and check out the 453 labels I've got hanging out down there. You are guaranteed to find something interesting (or at least embarrassing).

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