Self realization can be a (bad name for a lady dog).

I'm hosting book club tonight.

I would be excited, but I'm too busy drooling on my keyboard. I've been averaging 4 hours of sleep per night, and I can barely see straight.

Why, you ask?

Because I'm an idiot.

And because I work 40 hours every week.

But mostly because I started watching the show Hoarders. And I recognized myself.

"Kurt, I have bad news."

He glanced up from his textbook, and his gaze was arrested by my horrified expression. "Babe, what's wrong? Are you ok?"

I shook my head.

"What is it??"

I swallowed. "I'm a hoarder."

I don't have 41 dead cats living in my garage, and I don't think throwing away my dog's fur will speed up her death (mostly because, you know, I don't have a dog).

But I am a hoarder.

I'm not hoarding things right now (except craft supplies). But I am a hoarder the same way a man who hasn't had a drink in 5 years is still an alcoholic.

I look at their homes, and I see how it started. Maybe they never really unpacked, and the mess just grew. Maybe they started shopping, and simply had no place to put everything. But they kept on shopping. Because they know what it's like to be poor, and they know, they know that if they don't buy it now, they might not have the money to buy it later. And what if they need it one day?

Most of them have been extremely poor. I have been extremely poor.

It was like looking into my own head. It was like looking into my possible future. And it scared the shit out of me.

You might think I'm being dramatic, and you're probably right. I am sleep deprived, after all.

But that doesn't mean I'm wrong.

According to the show, hoarding is a mental disorder that effects approximately 3 million people. 3 million!

I have no plans to hoard rotting food, or keep my used toilet paper (and I'm only on episode 4!!). But I could. If I'm not careful, I could.

Not now, of course. Now I'm young, and (relatively) sane. I can throw stuff out with ease. I don't get attached to worthless things.

So maybe I'm a "Pre-Hoarder"?

Hang on, let me look it up...Ok. According to Wikipedia, I'm hovering somewhere between a a level 1 and a level 2 hoarder. For now.

My problem is a motivational one. I let things build up again and again until the task of cleaning and organizing is so huge, and it would take so long, and I'd rather just ignore it and do something, anything else.

I might never become a level 5 hoarder. But the pattern is set, and the tendency is there. If I'm not careful, I might end up with a VW bus full of junk in my backyard. Which I'll live in, because I won't be able to fit into my house once the tunnels I've dug under my piles of junk have collapsed.

(This happens sometimes)

We all have our challenges, right? Mine just happen to be slapping me in the face right now.

And so for the past few days, I've been cleaning. And organizing. And decorating. And buying organizational stuff (and possibly more decorations).

Since I'm at work all day, my crazy organization parties can't start until I get home. Then they go all night. If only I could take a mental health day, and just focus on this. That would be so appropriate, don't you think?

Again, let me explain one thing. This fear and determination is not because I am hoarding right now. It's because I know that if I'm not careful, I will be hoarding one day.

And I just can't let that happen.

So once The Great Clean of 2010 is over, I have a plan.

"Stay on top of this."

Ok, so it's not much of a plan.

But it's a start.

.



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Blog Bash Post

Hi guys, I am participating in




To participate, click on that button and read the rules. It's pretty fun, and you get to answer a bunch of questions about yourself. And who doesn't like talking about themselves? It's why you blog. You know I'm right.


1.) Why do you blog?

I blog for a bunch of reasons.

Because I'm married, and that's what good wives do. Obviously.

Also because my sister in law reads my posts every day, and I don't want to let her down. Peer pressure doesn't end in highschool y'all.

And finally, because it keeps me sane. I suffer from depression, and there are days when blogging is the only thing that gets me out of bed.

2.) What do you blog about?

Myself (of course). But also my friends, family, husband, Pittsburgh, and any crafts I happen to make.

Reading my blog is like having a conversation with me. That's what my sisters tell me when they don't answer my calls.

"Didn't we talk yesterday...? Oh wait, no, I just read your blog. Same thing."

Jerks.

3.) What do you find to be the biggest reward you get from blogging?

Money.

(I wish)

Um, the biggest reward is....all the friends I have made. I love meeting new people, and some of my closest friends I've met through my blog.

4.) How long have you been blogging?

Since last August. Huh. That anniversary is coming up. Maybe I should plan something big...

5.) Let's hear the story behind your blog title! :)

My thought process was pretty simple: My life... In Pittsburgh...



And that's me. Here is a link to my favorite posts, and another to my FAQ page. If you want to get to know me, just start reading there.

.



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Hold on to your running shoes!

You guys, I'm doing it! I'm training for a something-K!

(This photo was staged. I promise I wore socks in real life.)

Some of the wives invited me to go running last night, and then convinced me to train with them. I can't remember what number it is though... a 5K? A 10K? I'm hoping for a 2K.

I hate running.

But I also hate having to buy new pants because my old ones won't fit over my knees.

I have fat knees.

Just kidding. I do have fat thighs though. So, you know, YOU'RE WELCOME for that mental image.

Now, before someone calls BS, I'll admit that I actually love shopping for new clothes. As long as "I have nothing to wear" isn't a literal statement, I'm all for it.

But lets face it. Those dressing room mirrors are not exactly flattering, and when you're buying up a size (or three) it's just not a pleasant experience.

That's where my 1.2K comes in.

Also, exercise is good for depression. Obviously, the Universe has a dry sense of humor. When you can't even get out of bed to use the bathroom**, exercise is not gonna be high on your daily to-do list.

I'm gonna go wash my sports bra. Wish me luck.


**I don't wet the bed. I promise. I just wait about an hour and a half longer than I should, and then run to the toilet at the last possible moment. I like to think of it as "exercising my bladder." I wonder if they have 1/4K's for that, too?



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Why I named it Creative Therapy

Hi guys. It's Wednesday, and that means it's time for our Creative Therapy session. I've had a rough week. You may have guessed that from yesterday's post.

It may sound funny, but these sessions really are therapy for me.

I suffer from depression. Many of you probably do too. I went through a period when I fist moved out here where I was sleeping for 12-18 hours every day, and rarely leaving the house. I was sad and lonely and you know what helped?

Blogging. And reading blogs. Finding this amazing network of women. Reading your stories got me back on my feet.

And then finding craft blogs. Being motivated to try making things myself. I began getting up out of bed, showering, and going to the store to get supplies. I stopped daydreaming about dying. I started living again.

That's what blogging did for me. So when things get tough, and I can't stop crying, I know that even if my sisters aren't answering their phones, I don't have to feel isolated and alone.

Because when I turn on my computer, I turn on a lifeline. I can visit your pages, and hear about your struggles, and be inspired by your triumphs.

It's a resource my mother never had.

And when I see the projects you crafty people make, and it gets me excited. I can't tell you how valuable that is.

So thank you.

And welcome to our Creative Therapy Session.

THE RULES.

1. Make sure you link directly to the page your Creative Project is on, not your main blog page (please, no Etsy Shops or online stores).

2. Leave a short description of your project.

3. Grab my Craft Therapy button, and put it somewhere visible. Or you can just create a link back. I'm not too picky.

4. Visit the person above you in the Linky list, and leave them a comment. And if you'd like to visit a few more people, that would be great, too!


The linky will close at Midnight, so be sure to link up before then. And if you don't get your project done on time, don't stress. Enjoy the projects that were linked up, and participate again next week.



<center><a href="http://lanieree.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" alt="Life in the Pitts" src="http://i945.photobucket.com/albums/ad293/lanieree/Presentation1.jpg" /></a></center>





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Some thought on Creative Therapy

You know, our Creative Therapy sessions are my favorite part of the week. Hosting a link party is hard work, and it takes a lot of time. But for me? It's worth it.

Your projects always thrill me. Seeing the huge variety of projects that are linked up each week is amazing. Simple or elaborate, experienced crafter or beginner, each one of you makes me stop and think "I wonder if I could do that."

For someone who is intimately acquainted with depression, getting that jolt of enthusiasm and excitement can make all the difference.

It helps me want to do more than just sleep when I get home.

Which, if you ask my family (or any past roommates), is saying a lot.

So thank you.

I would like to ask you to do something. When people link up their crafts, please click on the links. Even just a few of them.

Then? Leave a comment. You guys know what it's like- checking your email 6 times per day, hoping for a comment.

Don't worry, I'm not asking you to visit all of them (you know, unless you want to). That's my job. But please, visit a few. Even if they aren't at the front of the list.

Some of these women are beginning crafters. They have no idea how to take a good picture of their project. Their tutorial skills might suck. But they need encouragement. They need to feel like they are a part of this community of creative women.

Isn't that why we all blog? To make new friendships, and learn from each other?

That's what I want this Creative Therapy to be about.

Now, here are the rules.


1. Make sure you link directly to the page your Creative Project is on, not your main blog page (please, no Etsy Shops or online stores).

2. Leave a short description of your project.

3. Grab my Craft Therapy button, and put it somewhere visible. Or you can just create a link back. I'm not too picky.

4. Visit the person above you in the Linky list, and leave them a comment. And if you'd like to visit a few more people, that would be great, too!


The linky will close at Midnight on the 14th, so be sure to link up before then. And if you don't get your project done on time, don't stress. Enjoy the projects that were linked up, and participate again next week.



<center><a href="http://lanieree.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" alt="Life in the Pitts" src="http://i945.photobucket.com/albums/ad293/lanieree/linkbutton.jpg" /></a></center>






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