"Syndil, your Dad is so jealous of your diaper. He wished he could just stand here and pee without anyone knowing."
"Right?? I was just telling Syndil we should buy some Depends!"
He stared at me in astonishment. "Wait, that's not..."
"They would be perfect on long car rides! Or even short ones. We would hardly ever have to stop. We could chug illegal amounts of Coca cola, and just pee all over the front seats. Well, I mean pee, and it wouldn't go all over the front seats. Just in our pants. But I draw the line at poop, Kurt. Don't even think about it."
"And how convenient would they be during nap time? Syndil sleeping on me, and I have a sudden urge- do I wake her up and run to the bathroom? Stay as still as possible and hope I don't start leaking? This wouldn't be a dilemma anymore. I could just go right there in bed."
"Or in the movie theater! You know that mad dash down the hall? Then you duck in a stall, pee as hard as you can, flush with your foot, rinse your hands, and dash back in 30 seconds flat? Well, those days are over!"
".....you've put a lot of thought into this, haven't you?"
I handed him the grocery list I wrote yesterday. And halfway down? Depends.
"I was going to let you discover it in the store, and see how you handled it in the moment. But since we are on the same page, let's just go buy them together."
".....April fools?" He asked, hopefully.