Friday, July 27, 2012

I've eaten 13 doughnuts this week.



(sorry, this also isn't Syndil's birth story. But I think you already guessed that, since "I've eaten 13 doughnuts this week." would be a terrible birth-story-title, even for me. It's coming, though. I promise.)


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Kurt bought a box of "Study" doughnuts for finals week. When he walked in with them, my whole face lit up and I started smiling really big.

...Too big, I guess, because Kurt got an alarmed look on his face and announced that these were his doughnuts, and I was only allowed 2. The other 10 had to last him the whole week.

Then he set down a box of Chips Ahoy! cookies. Which are also just for him.

REASONS WHY THIS IS A BAD IDEA:

1. I'm breastfeeding. Which means I'm constantly hungry.

2. I have Thrush. And the yeast that has taken over my body is demanding sugar. I didn't know it then, and when my body starts craving sugar like a diabetic maniac, I usually listen. Which might be why I have Thrush.

3. You can't plop cookies and doughnuts on the counter and tell me I can't have them. All that does is create a bitterness and hostility in our relationship, which will only get worse when I lose it during a 3am feeding, and eat the whole thing out of spite.

Two days later, me and Syndil took a trip to the store, and bought our own damn doughnuts. And cookies. And a bunch of candy, because this yeast infection has taken over my life (again, thrush is a yeast infection. I'm talking about my boobs here). I can't say no to sugar right now.

That night,we were plopped down on the couch nursing, and Kurt walked by eying the doughnuts with disapproval. A minute later he came back from the kitchen, looking confused.

"You bought your own doughnuts?"

"Yes. Because I'm only allowed to have 2 of yours."

"I was kidding. I can't eat an entire box by myself! They will go stale."

"...Oh."

I'm pretty sure that was a lie. He wasn't kidding. Or if he was, it was with a serious look in his eye, which implies he wishes he wasn't kidding. Either way, I know what I saw.

Anyway, now we are stuck with 2 boxes of doughnuts, 2 things of Chips Ahoy! cookies, and a whole lot of candy.

And a (now) known yeast infection. Which means I shouldn't be eating any of it. Because my boobs hurt so bad.


So if you are in the area and you want a doughnut, you know who to call.





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