Thursday, June 28, 2012

Sometimes honesty? Is not the best policy.

"Hey Kurt, what is the most exciting part about having 6 daughters in the next few years?"

(I feel like that's where this is headed)


Tuesday, June 26, 2012

TMI? Oh no. There is no such thing when you are 40 weeks pregnant.

Guess what I was doing 9 months ago today??

Buying tampons. Because pregnancy is weird, and you are technically pregnant 2 weeks before you even have sex.

So guess what I was doing two weeks after that...? (wink wink)

Hanging out in California with my family. Without Kurt.

Because bodies are weird, and sperm can stay alive for up to 3 days once its been... donated. Or something crazy like that.

So in honor of that day 9 months ago, minus 2 weeks, plus 3 days,


Which, apparently, means nothing.

No real contractions, no water breaking.

But I do have pitting edema in my feet (and wonderfully low blood pressure, thank goodness). And I have pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel in my left hand (what the...? Pregnancy is weird.). All of which matter about as much as my due date. This baby is going to come when she is good and ready. Sometime around her 5th birthday.

Things I have tried, to move things along:

Pineapple. I've eaten a whole, fresh pineapple 3 times.  My mouth did not bleed. I did get canker sores.

Red Raspberry Leaf herbal tea. Every other day.

Evening primrose oil. I swallow 3 throughout the day, and then we use 1 topically at night.  For the past 3 weeks.

Sex. I am convinced that this is a myth started by husbands who are freaked out at the whole 6-week fast that is looming ahead, especially combined with the past few months of "Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea how uncomfortable that would be right now?"

But we've been sacrificing comfort for potential contractions every single day. TMI? Oh no. There is no such thing when you are 40 weeks pregnant.

Exercise ball. I use one constantly, instead of a chair.

Accupressure. Kurt has been a champ when it comes to this. It is the best part of my day.

Spicy food. Every day. Followed by heartburn. Every day.

Walking walking walking jogging and walking some more.

The jogging wasn't pretty, you guys.

The occasional use of a manual breast pump. I know, you aren't supposed to do this unless you are being monitored. But sometimes I get desperate.

Riding in a car through Pittsburgh. All the natives say this is guaranteed to start labor. There are that many pot holes.

Grand result: Nothing. She is in here for good. Or, until the 10 of July, which is her eviction date. If I haven't had her by then, I have to go to the hospital, and get induced.

I really, really don't want to go to the hospital.

And no, I won't be trying castor oil. Not until the 8th of July. Because it sounds like the absolute worst way to start labor. Also, I hear it can give the baby diarrhea, too. And my birth center doesn't do meconium-filled births.

What did you guys do to get things started with your labors? It's ok if some of these things worked for you. I won't stab your eye out with a spork or anything.


Monday, June 25, 2012

Yet another moment brought to you by the letter E. For "Elegance."

Missionaries always stop by as I'm sitting around mostly naked, and I have to dash for cover.

9 months pregnant? I do not "dash" very well.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Stop Lurking!

I was looking at my Google analytics, and wondering who you are. Are you searchbots crawling through my blog? (Those exist, right?) Or actual people who are reading my stories and hoping I'll just draw a freaking stick figure already?

Are you real?

If you are feeling bold, please take a second to introduce yourself in the comments. Who are you? How would a close friend describe you? Or an enemy? What kind of blog do you write? What keeps you coming back here and reading about my life? Do you have an unusual amount of backhair?

Or whatever you want to say.

I'm interested.

Friday, June 22, 2012

She's already beating up her little siblings

In March, I was about 6 months pregnant, and the baby was flipping around and kicking everywhere.

That second trimester? Was heaven. The baby was so fun and active, the morning sickness had died off, and I was totally showing- but in a cute way. Not in a scary way that makes people avoid you on the sidewalk like you are about to explode.

Which is what happens now.

One night I got up to pee (for the 6th time), and on my way back the baby kicked me in my ovary.

It hurt.

I doubled over, whimpering in pain. Have you ever had a cyst on your ovary? It felt like that. Only much, much sharper.

"What happened? Are you ok? Is it the baby??"

Kurt was sitting up, panicking.

I explained about the kick, and he chuckled.

"She's already beating up her little siblings."

It wasn't really funny at the time.

I crawled back in bed, and fell asleep.

A few hours later, I woke up to pee again. I moved back the covers- and found a sleeping Kurt hugging my belly, and talking to the baby.

"Ok? You need to be nice to your mommy. No more hurting her...." his voice trailed off into a snore.

I'm not sure how long he had been giving her this lecture, and he had no memory of it in the morning.

It melted my heart.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

My wardrobe keeps getting smaller.

"Kurt! Guess why I love this shirt???"

"Um...its green?"

"No, its too big for me! See? Look at all this space. I'm going to wear it every day."

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

You're Using Midwives???

It was February. I was about 4 months pregnant, and my obgyn wanted me to get my yearly pap smear.

Not a big deal, right?

I had been going to this group of doctors for over 2 years, and I had mainly seen the same one. I didn't dislike her. I didn't particularly like her, either. She was convenient, and since I didn't have any other plans, I just kept on going to her office after I got pregnant.

As she is part of a practice, and any number of doctors could be on call during the delivery, they started cycling me through so I could meet all of them.

When they told me it was time for my exciting yearly procedure, I didn't really care. By that time in the pregnancy, I had been in those stirrups at every visit, not to mention the ultrasounds. It would almost be weird to go into an exam room and not drop my pants. 

That day, I arrived 10 minutes early. 40 minutes later, they showed me to an exam room, and had me get undressed. 30 minutes after that, the doctor came in.

First off: he was young and attractive. This is not a good thing in a gynecologist. We're talking a tall, dark, handsome man who probably started his medical career on a soap opera, playing a devastatingly handsome neurosurgeon.

He walked in flirting with the nurse. He didn't introduce himself. He didn't even look at my face.

"Put your feet in the stirrups."

Abrupt, but ok. He was obviously very busy with the nurse. I'm sure he'd get around to me in a minute.

"Nice toenail polish."

Um, what? I didn't want him noticing things.

I said a hesitant thank you, but he had already turned back to his important conversation. About motorcycles.

Then he got to work. And it hurt. Like, really bad. I know things are more painful down there during pregnancy, but this guy would have hurt no matter what. It was the harshest, most abrupt pap smear in the history of pap smears. I swear he used a bristle scrub brush.

I winced in pain, and tried not to move. Not that he would have noticed. He had moved on to his favorite vacation spots, and had she ever been to the nude beaches in France?

(no, she hadn't. giggle giggle.)

It was over in about 2 minutes, and he stood up to go. As he was leaving the room, he looked at my eyes for the first time. He seemed slightly surprised that there was a person attached to my vagina.

"You'll probably bleed today."

And then he walked out of the room.

That was it. Three sentences.

"Put your feet in the stirrups."

"Nice toenail polish."

"You'll probably bleed today."

I still don't know his name.

And if he was the one on call, I'm sure the delivery of my baby would be just as abrupt and impersonal. Although if there was a hot nurse around, I'd probably get to hear him talk about his new car during the delivery.

When I got home, I went straight to my computer, and started looking into other options.

And that is how I found my midwives.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The three of us

My friend Randee is a fantastic photographer. She mostly does children's photo shoots- and her pictures are always amazing.

So when she asked if I would like her to take some photos of the three of us- me, Kurt, and my belly- I said "Yes, please!"

Here are some of my favorites.

Kurt loves his little girl

This is my favorite scarf. And that is our backyard.

Romantic forehead kiss. Only allowed after he wipes off his chapstick.

He thinks this one is so awkward

I love this one. I'm not sure why

Notice the lack of cleavage? That took work.

You're welcome.

Those little socks! <3 

That one is going on her bedroom wall. 

Where it will give her a foot complex.

"You look like you're up to something. That face always makes me nervous." -Kurt

And finally, my favorite.

We have a lot of black and white in our room (all of our ikea furniture is black, and our walls are white). So I went to picmonkey and edited all of these photos, adding a black and white effect, but toning it down so there is some color (straight up black and white intimidates me). 

Example? That last picture.

It looks really good on our wall.

I used other effects on them, too (I like to play around, and have variety in my photo books). And some of those other versions made their way into this post. But the ones on our walls are the washed-out versions.

Just thought I'd share, and explain why I made myself so darn pale in that last photo.

"We look like vampires."

"Yeah, and not the sparkly kind."


(Kurt did not get the reference.)

Ok, that's it for baby belly photos. I don't have any more waiting in the wings. 

(What? How could I possibly stop with only 3 photo shoots??)

In case you missed it and are interested, here are the other maternity pictures. Part 1 and part 2 with my sister, and me at 32 weeks.

I'm hoping next time I post pictures, it will be of someone much tinier and cuter.

(no offense, Kurt)

Monday, June 18, 2012

Guess who just threw up by the side of the road?

Back in the beginning of my second trimester- we're talking late January- I was driving home from a midwife appointment.

It had been a few days since I'd puked, and I was feeling really confident that that part my pregnancy was over.

That morning, I was rocking out to the radio, crossing the really high bridge over The Waterfront (where we lived for 2 years), when my mouth started salivating.

That's never a good sign.

Quickly, I pulled over, opened my door, and started heaving up that morning's breakfast. And last night's dinner. And possibly last week's chocolate cake.

The chunky acid dripped out of my nose, and I knelt there on the side of the road, sobbing.

It was a dark time for me.

A few minutes later, I wiped my face off with a handful of litter, climbed back into my car, and texted my sisters.

"Guess who just threw up by the side of the road?"

Chantel's reply?

"Your baby is such a drama queen."

That made me crack a smile. And that smile turned into a full blown laugh.

Sister's are a gift.

And mine was so right.

ps. It was my litter. When I opened my door, a few napkins blew out of the door pocket. But at that point, I probably would have settled for a homeless man's handkerchief.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

More Maternity Photos!

My friend McCall takes beautiful pictures. About 6 weeks ago, she came over to my house and she worked her magic on me!

(no really- the lighting inside my house is terrible, and it is proof of her magical talent that she was able to get a single good one- let alone this many!)

My little 32 week belly. And I thought it was so big back then.


- The truth about pregnancy diets.

A very handy shelf.


A tribute to our future.

And my favorite. I like it because I don't have a double chin yet.

There are more, but they involve potential names, which we aren't ready to reveal. Mostly because we can't agree. 

(Poor McCall had to take multiple shots, with a bunch of different names.) 

Also, Kurt's new thing? Telling me he thinks we are having a boy. Which is not funny. 

He would have to wear dresses. And his middle name would be Marie.

Which pictures do you like? 

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Well. That was unexpected.

Here is one of our pregnancy announcement pictures:

And here is a more accurate version:

Our little Finnegan is a girl. It blew our minds- she was such a little boy to us!

Kurt is outnumbered.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Pregnancy is magical. And miserable.

I wrote this blog post back in November, long before I was telling anyone about the baby.

Even our families didn't hear until Christmas.

You guys, I had really bad morning sickness. We're talking  7-9 times per day.

I was so miserable. One time I threw up 3 times during the first hour of church. And then I went outside and puked in the bushes twice during the second hour (I didn't want any of my friends to walk in and see me kneeling by the toilet). Then I puked again on the way home.

That was my life.

Thank goodness that only lasted for a few months.

Anyway, here is a post that I wrote while in the middle of it all:

I was sitting on a pallet, in the back of wal mart- you know, by the milk and yogurt? I had my hands clasped to my mouth, trying desperately not the throw up on the floor.

Most people walked by without looking. Blessed self-absorption. I could have kissed them.

Or maybe just puked on their shoes.

One lady stopped and bent down, peering anxiously into my horrified eyes. "What's wrong honey?"

I quickly gasped "Morning sickness! I'm trying not to-"

And then I started heaving.

 I clasped my hands back to my face, desperately fighting it.

 "Oh, I remember those days." She smiled fondly. "You need some crackers."

I nodded, and she walked away.

 I'm never leaving the house without a barf bag again.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

The tired, swollen (somewhat dramatic) face of pregnancy

Honestly? It's not that I'm miserable. It's just that the smiling versions make me look like a chipmunk. So until my face is less swollen, my MySpace-style photos will all be very serious looking.

Monday, June 11, 2012

5 pregnancies later...

My mother's feet grew a half size with each pregnancy.

I think I inherited that.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

"It's moving"

Excerpt from my flight last month:

I looked over at the teenaged guy sitting next to me on the airplane, and he was staring at my tummy.

In a hushed, horrified voice, he whispered "It's moving!"


If you have a second, take a look at my post about Peggy, and the fundraiser to help her fight cancer. It took a lot of tears to write, and anything- even just some kind thoughts or words- would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks guys.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Not my favorite thing

The baby and I are both hiccuping right now, and we are both hating it.

Only, I don't get to punch anyone in frustration.

That doesn't seem fair.


If you have a second, take a look at my post about Peggy, and the fundraiser to help her fight cancer. It took a lot of tears to write, and anything- even just some kind thoughts or words- would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks guys.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Give in to your cravings...


If you have a second, take a look at my post about Peggy, and the fundraiser to help her fight cancer. It took a lot of tears to write, and anything- even just some kind thoughts or words- would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks guys.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Belly buddies! A few more pictures with my sister.

Yesterday's post (with pictures of our sister's maternity shoot) went over better than I thought it would.

I had thought you guys might be tired of all my pregnancy updates.

I would have started posting months ago, but things got a little...tense between me and a semi-distant family member who reads my blog.

I didn't want this person to have access to my pregnancy.

But recently, I decided "Who cares?"

And now I have 9 months of pregnancy posts to catch up on!

I'll try to sprinkle in a few of my signature stick figure posts, as well as some of my reminiscing, and my venting, and all those other kinds that I love to write.

But mostly? I'm pregnant. It's my world.

Ok, explanations aside, here are the pictures you guys asked for:

(or, in the case of @mommastemme, demanded.) 

Maternity Pictures, Part 2 

Another pretend yoga shot. I really like this one. The colors, the angle. The outtie belly button on Chantel :)

Here is another good one of me. 

You can kind of see my swollen face- but I still really like it. Probably because you can see my freckles.

This is a great one of Chantel, half-laughing

And this next one is all about the eyes

Here we are standing. You can see how differently we are carrying!
(Notice those hot and sexy maternity jeans I'm rocking! Ow! Ow!)

Belly bump!

Here are two more of Chantel reading her little girl a book.

(I'm still so jealous of these!)

That Peter Rabbit sure is scandalous!

Then we went to the park.

Amber, our sister, was there for moral support

(but we dragged her into a few photos)

Now this is sexy.

I hope you are all taking notes.

I love this one of us 3 girls.

(Funny thing- the three of us? Not one single matching feature. Eyes, nose, chin, lips, teeth, cheeks, eyebrows, face shape- we've compared them all, and they are all completely different. 
But people always say we look alike.)

Then we took the babies for a ride

You see what I have to put up with?

At least she is cute.

(sidenote- our earrings? Were made by Chantel that morning. Love them.)

Then she went into labor

Kidding! I would not be smiling if that was real.

We just thought we should get some practice time in.

These ones aren't awesome of me, but I'm loving Chantel in them.

Normally if I don't love a picture, I untag myself on facebook, and deny it's existance.

I hope you appreciate this, Chantel!

I do love these shirts, though

I'm all about lace.

Love timbertown parks. 

I am looking excited to take my little girl here to play when we visit her Grandpa :)

And that's it!

Actually, Bryn took over 730 photos- but these are my favorites. 

Can you tell we laughed throughout the whole photo shoot?  It was so much fun.

Which ones do you guys like best?

And do you have any maternity photos on your blog? I'd love to see them! Leave a link in your comment.

(also, newborn pictures- I'll need ideas for those pretty soon!)

If you have a second, take a look at my post about Peggy, and the fundraiser to help her fight cancer. It took a lot of tears to write, and anything- even just some kind thoughts or words- would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks guys.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Maternity pictures with my sister!

A few weeks ago, I hopped on an airplane, and flew to Utah.

7 months pregnant.

(remember, I spilled ice down my shirt in the airport? And then jumped around and cussed a lot?)

When I got there, my feet were beyond swollen. And the next morning, so was my face. And my hands.

And then my blood pressure was elevated!!

So I freaked out and decided I had preeclampsia. I didn't, actually, but google had me pretty convinced for a while there.

...yeah, maybe flying so late in pregnancy, and to a mich-higher-elevation-destination isn't such a good idea.

Also, self-diagnosing based on a google search. Don't do it. You'll end up with leprosy and a bad prostate infection. And you're a girl.

My reasons for taking this trip were excellent. I wanted another baby shower!

...kidding. That was just an extra perk.

But I did want my family to see me pregnant, and I wanted to compare bellies with my little sister Chantel.

As I mentioned yesterday, we are only 2 weeks apart, and she is having a girl, too!

Yeah. Life is crazy sometimes.

While we were there, in between the baby showers, Chantel's friend Bryn did a sister's maternity photo shoot for us.

Here are a few of those pictures.

Pretending to do Yoga: 

Remember how we are only 2 weeks apart?
(Yes, I know. I'm huge)

This next one is my favorite of me.

My little basketball...

Favorite pregnancy look: Tie lace underneath your boobs.
It's especially flattering during the second trimester, 
before your boobs get too big, and start overlapping the lace

This one is my favorite of Chantel. I am very jealous of this picture.

Waiting in line to pee

(things got a little desperate)

Hiding behind some trees

(what pregnant girls?)

...and there are quite a few more, but I don't want to overwhelm you guys.
Let me know if you are interested in seeing the rest, ok?

And if you are in the Utah area, and want some maternity pictures like these, this is a link to Bryn's photography blog.
Which are your favorites?

If you have a second, take a look at my post about Peggy, and the fundraiser to help her fight cancer. It took a lot of tears to write, and anything- even just some kind thoughts or words- would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks guys.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Can I bribe you to get pregnant?

Last year, my Dad got tired of waiting. 4 of his 5 kids are married, and he wants Grandchildren. So he sat us all down, and offered us a cash reward.

I'm not kidding you guys. He is bribing us. Whoever has the first Grandkid wins.

Amber and Dave immediately got up, and headed for the door.

"Hey, uh, so we have to go home now..."

(they were kidding)

We all laughed about it, and David jokingly said "Wouldn't it be funny if I had the first baby?"

No. No, it wouldn't.

Well, this year my family got together for New Years Eve at The Roof- a restaurant at the top of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. Kurt and I couldn't be there, but Annie had us covered. She handed out envelopes around the table, and secretly had us on speakerphone in her pocket.

When people opened their envelopes, they saw this:

(not the best picture of either of us, but it served its purpose)

There were exclamations of happiness all around the table, and my Dad immediately got out his cell phone to call us- but Annie pulled out hers and handed it over.

We were so happy.

(That money was as good as ours.)


The next evening, for New Years Day, everyone gathered at my Dad's house to play games and be happy.

Kurt and I set up our laptop, and started skyping the event.

Then Chantel, my little sister, handed out tiny packages around the room.

(We had one too, with strict instructions to wait to open it until she gave us the signal)

We all opened them at the same time, and saw these cute little magnets...


And it's also a girl!

(these are her Facebook announcement photos)

I could not be more thrilled for her and her husband Michael. It's so fun being pregnant at the same time!

But here's the thing: she is only 2 weeks behind me.

So if I'm a week late, and she's a week early...

This could come down to a photo finish.
It's a tense situation, you guys. There can be only one first grandchild.

And I'm in it for the win.


If you have a second, take a look at my post about Peggy, and the fundraiser to help her fight cancer. It took a lot of tears to write, and anything- even just some kind thoughts or words- would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks guys.

Monday, June 4, 2012

I needed a break from all the pink...

New dress! That makes 4 outfits that fit. 

I am so excited.


If you have a second, take a look at my post about Peggy, and the fundraiser to help her fight cancer. It took a lot of tears to write, and anything- even just some kind thoughts or words- would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks guys.

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