Wednesday, February 8, 2012

I'm cooking you a lobster in that shack right now.

That surprise cruise Kurt took me on? Was awesome.

We decided to just go to the beach in Cozumel. But we were intercepted by a very determined Mayan tour leader. "I am not Mexican. I am Mayan. So you can trust me."

(...apparently there are some political/social issues going on here that I wasn't aware of.)

He convinced us that snorkling would be a much better choice. And for half of the price that it was offered through the cruise ship. We tried to say no, but in the end, he was a very good salesman.

We also bought a tiny little mexican dress, in case we ever have a daughter :) Kurt was a hard sell on this one. "what if we only have boys, Helena? What then??"

"Then they will wear cute dresses. A little boy in a dress is better than no dress at all."

But when I talked them down from $12 to $10, even he had to agree that it was a good deal.

Plus I let him pick it out.

We never did make it to the beach.

In Grand Cayman, we booked a local tour to Stingray City.

Kurt was a little bit terrified "What about Steve Irwin??" but in the end they won him over.

They were so friendly and soft and we did not die.

Then we snorkeled

(even more beautiful than in Cozumel)

By the way, Grand Cayman? Was originally named Tortuga. Yeah, that Tortuga.  As in, Pirates of the Caribbean.

(I almost left Kurt for this sexy, smelly man)

And in Jamaica, I was determined to hit up a beach. Last time we were there, we docked in Ocho Rios, and there was a beach you could walk to from the pier.

But this time we stopped in Falmouth, and the nearest beach was 10 minutes, and $40 per person away.

"No way. I'm not spending that much to go to the beach."

"But we haven't gone to any beaches!"

"We almost did in Cozumel."

"ALMOST. But then you gave in to the Mayan sales guy."

"It was your idea! Anyway, I'm just not doing it."

"Fine, Kurt. Then what will we do all day? Sit on the ship?"

"Well, I like the ship."

"We are in Jamaica."

"You can go to the beach without me. I don't care."

And then I cried.

Kurt decided to go down to the promenade, and see if he could find anyone who had been here before.

I sat up in my room, plotting ways to change his mind.

"I'll stop spending half my paycheck at Panera for 1 month. No- 3 months. AND I'll do the dishes every day."

He walked down to the cafe, where he saw a young couple sitting. The guy was eating pizza. The girl was in tears.

"Hi. Um, have you guys been to the beach here?"

They looked at him in amazement.

"No, I wanted to. But he says it's too expensive."

NO WAY. They were in the exact same situation! Except they had ventured off the pier, and found a taxi willing to give them a better price, if they could find more people to go.

We walked off the pier, and into the city. Jamaica is a rough place. Lots of poverty, and they really depend on tourists.

Women kept coming up and touching my hair. "I braid for you. $3 a braid."

"No, we only have enough money for our taxi."

"I ride with you, and braid on the way. We figure it out there."

"Please stop touching me."

10 minutes later, we were on the most beautiful beach.

And the welcoming committee stopped by to say hi.

"You want aloe, mon? I have a nice one, you give the ladies a sexy backrub."

"It's alright, mon. You safe here. Have a joint. The real Bob Marley experience. Pass it around."

"I make this anklet that I already put on your foot. Now you pay me $5."

"I'm cooking you a lobster in that shack right now."

It was pretty fantastic.

The whole cruise was awesome. Especially the food. Which I ate way too much of.

And Kurt? Totally wins the surprise category. Thank goodness I'm so darn sexy. It kind of evens it all out.


viewfromdownhere said...

Sounds like so much fun!

Untypically Jia said...

Glad you had fun. We went snorkeling in Grand Cayman and it was the most beautiful place in the world. I think it's funny that you found the Tortuga pirate statue. We found the one called Big Black Dick. Made my day.

Di said...

Looks like a fabulous time to me!

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