Saturday, May 21, 2011

If I got a perm, could we still be friends?



...Or would you disown me?

Here is a slightly-underwhelming vlog I just made for you guys, wherein I discuss the possibilities of getting my hair permanently altered.

It's just over two minutes, so it can't be that bad. Right?


(you can also watch it here)


Interesting sidenote- I was kind of freaking out about my robe while shooting this. If I look distracted, that's why. I was afraid I would flash you. But not afraid enough to go get dressed.

When Kurt saw what I was wearing he was all, "You had better not have a nip slip!"

A nip slip?? Who talks like that?! My husband, of course.

So what do you think? Should I do it poodle-style (ha, dirty), or go for the authentic, unwashed euro-grease look this summer in Finland?

Or is there a third option out there?

(Also, have you guys ever permed it up? I would love to hear some some 1980's- inspired stories)

.


Friday, May 20, 2011

Shutterfly and springtime.



---All links have been removed because Shutterfly won't leave me alone! Seriously, I wrote this post in 2011. I am not going to change them whenever you want me to link to something new. This blog post in in the past, people. So if you bloggers out there are thinking of doing a post for them in the future, be warned- apparently there are a LOT of strings attached, even years later...---

-----------------------------------------

I know, summer is almost here. But before it hits, I want to take a minute and think about spring. It's the most exciting season (for me) because if winter lasted another month, I would never make it without turning into a homicidal maniac.

No, really. I get crazy.

And while I dream about summer, the reality is kind of hot and sweaty.

So Springtime. Is awesome.

Now, you might be wondering why I am talking so much about a season that is almost over. Well, I am participating in Shutterfly's Spring Announcements Promo. True to form, I am waiting until the almost-last-day to do it (the deadline is Sunday).

I'm using mine for Baby Shower Invites (if they get here in time). No, not for me. For the shower I am hosting. I'm not pregnant.

And if it's too late this time, keep an eye out. They do this every few months. I participated in their Christmas promo, and got 50 awesome Christmas cards.

Unfortunately, due to an unexpected job loss, I ran out of money, and couldn't send them out.

Lame, huh?

I probably should have told you guys back then, but that's kind of when I went on my also-unexpected blogging hiatus.

But I was really impressed with the quality of those cards. I still pull them out sometimes, and admire the cardstock.

Here, I'll show you what they looked like:

(click to enlarge)


It's referencing this traumatic blog post. And it would have been fantastic.

The moral of the story? Don't get laid off. Also, Blog for Shutterfly. They are awesome.

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Thursday, May 19, 2011

I'm so sorry if doing your job is inconvenient to your social life.



Ugh. I have one word to describe my frustration: Comcast.

I know, I know- who doesn't have issues with this internet provider?

But hear me out. It's not because of their sketchy internet (although that was one of the main reasons we cancelled last year).

It's because of their rude customer service agents.

After months of sharing the internet with our extremely friendly neighbors (a fantastic deal, as we split the cost), we have decided to try again. This is partly because when our neighbors go on vacation, and the internet goes out, we have no way of pushing the reset button.

(On a completely unrelated note, my apartment complex frowns on breaking and entering.)

So that was my assignment this week. Find our own internet.

I started with Comcast. I looked up their prices, and then compared them to Verizon.

Hmm. Verizon is looking a bit cheaper.

Still, Comcast is familiar. And I have to start somewhere.

So this morning, I got on my cell phone and gave them a call. The guy who answered the phone set me at ease immediately. He was friendly, and helpful, and on the other side of the country.

Shoot. They routed me to the Utah office, because that's where my cell number is from.

We laughed about the mix up, and then he kindly transferred me to the Pittsburgh office.

Where I was treated like crap.

"Hi! I am looking into getting the internet set up at my home. And I was hoping you could tell me about the prices."

"Um, ok. Are you calling to have the internet installed?"

Those words sound so innocent here, but believe me, they were not. He was talking down at me like I was stupid. It was a total "you're wasting my time" kind of voice.

The rest of the call went pretty much like that. Him sighing loudly, being almost-sarcastic, and generally treating me like I was a waste of oxygen.

WHAT THE HELL, COMCAST? I am the customer. I'm sorry if doing your job is inconvenient to your social life. I get that you are being asked to do such terrible things like sitting on your butt, answering the phone, and typing on a keyboard.

But do you have to take it out on me?

I am so tired of bitchy sales clerks, and customer service people who act like I'm ruining their life by asking them to do their job. You don't feel like opening a dressing room, looking up a price, or answering the phone? TOUGH SHIT.

Maybe it's my fault for not saying something. Maybe I smile too much, or back down too easily. Maybe I have a sign on my back saying "kick this one, she won't hit back."

And maybe I just need to lose my temper, and start talking to them like they talk to me. If it all escalates, and I get a reputation at the local police station, well, what can I say? At least I stood up for myself.

...but I probably won't. Instead, I will grit my teeth, and keep the peace, and then spend the rest of the day running different scenarios through my mind, and muttering under my breath like a crazy person.


So in conclusion, I will be calling Verizon tomorrow. And if they are nice to me, I will sign up in a heartbeat.


So how about you? Do you have any Comcast stories? Or stories about rude sales people in general? Because I would Love to hear them.

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Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Sunday, May 8, 2011

It's not that I dont like this holiday.



It's just that I miss my mom.

If you see me, I will be sitting alone. And that's ok.

I don't need to be cheered up, or even comforted. Just left alone to think and remember.

(Unless you knew her too. Then please, stop by and talk a while).

(...just don't ask me to comfort you).

Someday when I have kids, this holiday will probably mean more.

But for now, it is one of the saddest days of the year.

And I guess that's ok, too.


Thursday, May 5, 2011

It smelled like rotten fruit, but tasted like victory.



"I'm going to miss you Helena. Have fun with your family, ok?"

I nodded.

"And while you're gone, I think I'm going to clean out the fridge."

----------------


Our fridge hasn't been emptied out in... a while.

About a month ago, I noticed a noxious odor coming from somewhere inside.



I was pretty sure the culprit was hiding in the bottom-left-hand drawer. You know- the one for vegetables?

I hadn't looked in there in a few ...months?

Anyway, I decided to ignore it.

A few weeks later, the smell was overpowering.

It wasn't really a stand off between Kurt and I, so much as one between us, and the fridge.


And we were losing. Badly.

We discussed our options. I could clean it- but I had just cleaned the ENTIRE apartment in a crazy spring-cleaning fever. While it was physically possible, it would be the last thing I cleaned.

Like, ever.

Kurt could do it- but it was Finals week, and he was busy, and really, couldn't we just eat the things in our pantry, and forget about the refrigerator for a while?

Awkwardly, we worked around it, holding our breath whenever we had to go in for milk or butter.

The standoff continued.

When we had friends over, we would mention the smell before they could. It seemed less awkward that way.


I was afraid it would always be like this.


But then, as we were pulling up to the airport, Kurt said those 13 magic words.

"And while you're gone, I think I'm going to clean out the fridge."

I could have kissed him.

So I did.


And even though we were a team, and it was "Us Against The Fridge".....

.....It tasted like victory.

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Wednesday, May 4, 2011

THE CEREAL KILLER




After last week's nightmare, I received notes and messages from concerned, hungry readers.

Thank you.

The best thing you can do is educate yourself, and be wary of dark, dry places- like your cupboard or pantry.

And if you see anything suspicious, please contact the proper authorities.

...whoever those might be.

At your request, I am releasing the following. I hope it helps.




DANGEROUS CRIMINAL,CURRENTLY AT LARGE






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