Monday, February 28, 2011

Confessions of a burnt-out blogger.



I didn't mean to stop blogging.

I just got busy. And then I got lazy. And then I got forgetful. And then I got guilty.

(Got guilty? Oh yes. You read that right.)

I don't handle stress very well. When something overwhelms me, I like to ignore it, and hope it goes away. Which almost never works.

And when I feel guilty, I do the very same thing. Only with more passion.

During Christmastime I started feeling burnt out. Blogging everyday for the past over-a-year was awesome, but suddenly I needed a break. It was only supposed to be for a few days. But then it kind of got out of control.

For a while in January I made goals to blog, and made excuses for not blogging, and then stressed out when I realized just how long it had been, and didn't I realize how much I was letting people down??

The pressure built and built (you know, in my head. people weren't making me feel bad in real life or anything), and I started avoiding even looking at the computer. Just being in the same room was uncomfortable. I could feel the monitor staring at me, judging me for choosing a science fiction book over this sexy keyboard.

And so I started reading in bed, far away from the internet.

I've read a lot of books since Christmastime.

It's funny, I know it doesn't bother most of you. I just haven't been showing up in your feeds, or at the top of your blog rolls. You may wonder and worry a little, but you aren't angry or asking for an apology.

Blog posts that start with "I'm SO sorry I haven't posted in FOREVER" kind of irritate me when I read them. I think "Sheesh, stop apologizing. I get it, you have a life outside of this computer screen."

So here I am, being a hypocrite.

I just feel like I owe you guys some kind of explanation, since I went from posting every single day to posting, you know, never.

Which was pretty lame, you know?

And since you asked, here are my answers:

I haven't died, and I haven't abandoned you forever (I hope). I haven't gone into the witness protection program, or been arrested for indecent exposure (or anything else). I have been in a car accident, but it wasn't a big one.

I'm not leaving my husband for a tranny hooker named Shawnda (You guys are so weird).

And finally, I am not still in mourning from the Superbowl. Although I can see why you all thought that.

(Can I tell you the truth? I'm not even really a Steeler's fan. I just kind of pretend so I'll fit in better. Don't tell Pittsburgh.)

I'm just here, being lazy, and feeling guilty.

What haven't you been doing?

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Saturday, February 5, 2011

Oh, come on. I'm not THAT difficult to live with.



"Hey dude, I wrote a blog post! Do you want to come read it??"

He looked up from mopping the kitchen floor.

"Um, yes. But can I finish this first?"

"Ok."

He hesitated.

"Are you mad?"

I raised my eyebrows in surprise.

"It's fine."

"No, really- are you mad? Do I need to come read it now?"

"Um, no. It's ok. Finish first. I don't care."

He peered at me intently.

"I can't tell if you're angry right now."

"I'm not!"

"Because if you are, I can just come over."

"There's no rush. And I mean that in the least passive-aggressive way possible."

He gave me a uncertain look, and went back to mopping.

I swear I don't beat him.

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Friday, February 4, 2011

How's your love tank NOW??



"Hey Kurt, how full would you say your love tank is?"

"Maybe... an 8."

I thought for a minute.

"But...remember how I made the bed this morning?"

"Um, yes."

"And I did the dishes. Without being asked."

"Uh huh."

"And then I made dinner. I don't usually make dinner."

"That's true."

"And while I didn't clean anything, I also didn't make a bigger mess. I avoided doing anything productive, just so I wouldn't have to clean up. I mean- so I wouldn't be messy. I did that for you."

"Um..."

"So, how's your love tank now?"

".....You know it doesn't work that way."

"AND I bought you ice cream. "

I stared at him expectantly.

He sighed.

"Ok, fine. It's an...8.5."

I smiled smugly.

"I know."

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Thursday, February 3, 2011

5 Easy Tips for Vlogging with Style.



If you are like me, vlogging both intrigues and terrifies you. You want to try it...But you don't want to look (or sound) stupid.

It's scary.

A while ago, I sucked it up, and made my first vlog. I was inspired by my friend Mary from The Mama Mary Show.

It was kind of a disaster.

.....But it was also really fun.

This is Mary:

I emailed Mary a while ago, and practically begged her to write, or film, a guest post for me. She said yes.

Without further ado, here are Mary's 5 Easy Vlogging Tips (to help you vlog with style).

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Top Five Vlogging Tips

I met my girl Helena a few months ago via the SITS Girls website and it was love at first stick figure. When she asked me last month to do a guest post on vlogging tips, I was like "hellz yeah" and threw up a peace sign. It's taken me a while to getter done, but it's finally here (see below).

As I was recording it, I realized that I'm really not an expert in this field, but I like to pretend I am, so I had a lot of fun.

I also realized that I don’t even know how to pronounce Helena's name. Is it a soft 2nd “e” like Marlena from Day of our Lives or a hard "e" as in Marlena Deitrich? At the end of the vlog I tried to say “thanks Helena for having me on your site,” but instead it came out, “thanks (weird pause) thanks for having me.”

A little bit about me, besides that I am now a self-proclaimed vlogging expert. I began vlogging in 2009, soon after I started to blog. I figured that since I had named my site “The Mama Mary Show” I should better start providing show-like material. Plus I am much more comfortable talking then I am writing. Soon a weekly series called “Monday Momsense” was born, in which I discuss a topic du jour ranging from tips on how flat chested women can get cleavage to what to do with leftover vodka (I’m not sure why anyone would have leftover vodka, but just in case, I have a use for it, aside from adding it to tomato juice). The Monday Momsense vlogs are rarely posted on Mondays, but they are always filled with the sense of a mom, which is none.



(you can also watch it on Youtube)


Below are some of my favorite vloggers who work the camera from a different angle than I do.

Karen Alloy
Lizzie B TV
Jessica Bern
The Ohana Mama
Hoo Dee Hoo
Mama Kat

Now go get your vlog on!

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For more of Mary's vlogging tips, be sure to check her out at Bloggy Boot Camp SD, where she will be speaking on this very subject.

(Also, here is a quick pronunciation guide, for those of you who are identifying with her awkward pause. You can say my name however you want, but the way I say it is Hell-ay-nuh. There's this whole accent-over-the-second-'e'-thing, which doesn't always make it onto the screen. Here, I'll put it in: Heléna. That's my real name.)

Now grab your camera, and give it a try!

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