Monday, February 28, 2011

Confessions of a burnt-out blogger.

I didn't mean to stop blogging.

I just got busy. And then I got lazy. And then I got forgetful. And then I got guilty.

(Got guilty? Oh yes. You read that right.)

I don't handle stress very well. When something overwhelms me, I like to ignore it, and hope it goes away. Which almost never works.

And when I feel guilty, I do the very same thing. Only with more passion.

During Christmastime I started feeling burnt out. Blogging everyday for the past over-a-year was awesome, but suddenly I needed a break. It was only supposed to be for a few days. But then it kind of got out of control.

For a while in January I made goals to blog, and made excuses for not blogging, and then stressed out when I realized just how long it had been, and didn't I realize how much I was letting people down??

The pressure built and built (you know, in my head. people weren't making me feel bad in real life or anything), and I started avoiding even looking at the computer. Just being in the same room was uncomfortable. I could feel the monitor staring at me, judging me for choosing a science fiction book over this sexy keyboard.

And so I started reading in bed, far away from the internet.

I've read a lot of books since Christmastime.

It's funny, I know it doesn't bother most of you. I just haven't been showing up in your feeds, or at the top of your blog rolls. You may wonder and worry a little, but you aren't angry or asking for an apology.

Blog posts that start with "I'm SO sorry I haven't posted in FOREVER" kind of irritate me when I read them. I think "Sheesh, stop apologizing. I get it, you have a life outside of this computer screen."

So here I am, being a hypocrite.

I just feel like I owe you guys some kind of explanation, since I went from posting every single day to posting, you know, never.

Which was pretty lame, you know?

And since you asked, here are my answers:

I haven't died, and I haven't abandoned you forever (I hope). I haven't gone into the witness protection program, or been arrested for indecent exposure (or anything else). I have been in a car accident, but it wasn't a big one.

I'm not leaving my husband for a tranny hooker named Shawnda (You guys are so weird).

And finally, I am not still in mourning from the Superbowl. Although I can see why you all thought that.

(Can I tell you the truth? I'm not even really a Steeler's fan. I just kind of pretend so I'll fit in better. Don't tell Pittsburgh.)

I'm just here, being lazy, and feeling guilty.

What haven't you been doing?



Anonymous said...

Hi Helena; As soon as this popped up on Twitter, I had to open it, as I have been missing your wonderful posts and hoping everything's ok. Glad to hear it is and you've just been lazy. LOL Gosh, I go through that too! Kudos for getting all those books read, though. Hope to see you back....more often at least.
P.S. My regards to Shawnda

Macey said...

Nuh uh! People who blog do NOT have lives outside the keyboard! You ruined my perception... LOL

DB said...

Happens to the best of us!

BeaderBubbe said...

Wow....I totally understand...I sometimes put up blogs for a few days ahead, and havent been able to do that in a while. I get ideas and then sit down and not a one comes to me....I love to read to, so when I get home from work, I put up dinner, sit at the table and blog, eat and then read....but then my children are grown and while I do watch grandkids...I still have time...of course, my house needs a cleaning and somehwhere I must do laundry....but we will forgive you for not blogging, because....we have all been there....welcome back.

DANA said...

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, they say! I was excited to see you in my feed today!

VM Sehy Photography said...

I think most people understand if your keyboard isn't surgically attached to your hands. We all need a bit of break here and there. And now I feel a bit guilty because I should be getting some reading done. Screen Free Week will be here fast enough.

Jenn said...

This is so hid from the computer to avoid blogging...I hide from my computer when I need to reconcile my checkbook! I figure if I don't get on the computer, then I have an excuse to not look at my checkbook! It really doesn't make sense...but it helps me to avoid the bad news that I have no $$! :)

And I'm sure others would tell you the same...I have missed your blogs, but the blog is supposed to be for you...and only a little for us! Your true fans will be here when you blog, whether it's every day or once a month...or once a year! Read a good some what you need to do!

viewfromdownhere said...

Well, I've missed you...if that's any consolation, and I doubt your computer was judging you. Maybe, but I doubt it. But we all go through phases like that. I did, too, recently...hell, that's one of the reasons I do wordless's easy to pick a picture and go "look at that...isn't it deep?"

I hope you're back for good, though, because I do miss my daily dose of stick drawings.

Alexandra said...

I ran over here as soon as I jaw you posted.

We're still blogging out here, same thing,same thing.

MOre work more work more work.


How are you?

Missy@Wonder, Friend said...

I hear you! I've been there. More than once. Sometimes you just need to check out. And that's okay.

I really relate to feeling guilty and then hiding from my guilt. I've absolutely done it with blogging before. It's this horrible cycle I create - one slow weeks leads to another until I realize I haven't posted in several weeks.

I'm happy to see you pop up in my reader any time, and I'm guessing your other readers feel the same way. So we'll all be here when you're ready.

Alexandria Rammell said...

im with you. a good book always gets me "checked out of this world". what reads have you enjoyed?

Sara Strand said...

I haven't been having much sex but that's for another day. ;)

I'm glad you're alive, not marrying Shawnda (I knew it'd never work out), and I'm glad you're reading!! Miss you hot stuff.

Rachael said...

Yay for a post! Jon and I have missed reading your stories but are glad to hear that all is well. We were starting to take bets and thought that maybe you were having a baby and didn't know how to announce it on here... That was our bet only because we loved the post about the jerk in your ward. Life in Utah is grand as ever. My only motivation for blogging this month? The Eminem commercial from the Super Bowl that made me uber homesick and getting a kitty.

beka said...

honey, reading is good.
so is taking a break.
very understandable! and hey. breaks are when you load up and get relaxed (and yeah, lazy) and eventually have inspiration again.

no problem, lady!
have a lovely tuesday:)

Mizasiwa said...

not mad just worried, you deserve a blogholiday!

Kmama said...

Of course you're not a Steelers fan. You're a Lions fan, right? RIGHT?!?! ;-)

Welcome back.

Shauna said...

Oh how Ive missed reading your crazy adventures! Its completely understandable to get burnt out...Im kind of there now. Im so so so glad to know your NOT with Shawnda...I called her first! lol JK Welcome Back!

Corinne said...

I'm exactly with you on the Steelers comment. I just shrug my shoulders and mumble something whenever anyone asks. It's a lot easier than telling them that I am NOT a fan.

TKW said...

I've missed you! I know about burnout all too well, though, and I'm glad you took the time you needed.

ps: Shawnda sounds hawt.

Megan said...

Me? I haven't been doing SO. FREAKING. MUCH.

And I'm having a I-really-suck-at-writing-and-am-not-funny-at-all-and-should-probably-not-subject-the-world-to-my-inanity crisis. So... that sucks too.

But welcome back!

Mongooseholly said...

I am very pleased!

Heather said...

I should have taken a break instead of continuing to write the crappy posts I have been writing.
And since it is all about me...I thought that was what had kept you away from the internet. :)

Glad you are back.

Unknown said...

I've been sick, burnt out, depressed and guilty and I'm still blogging. My posts have been SO exciting of late.

Maybe it's better you took a break ...

Suzy Myers said...

My computer judges me too.

Missed your posts and wondered about you, but I totally understand!!


The Girl Creative said...

I'm glad that you explained. I always wonder what happens to a blogger when they take a break without telling us they are taking a break. There's a blog I really enjoyed and even swapped with and all of the sudden "poof". No more posts, no nothing. I even sent them an email, nada. So.........thanks for posting and letting us know you are alive! :) Sometimes it just gets overwhelming and you just need a break. Glad you've posted some since this post. You are really funny and enjoy your posts when you are able to do them.:)

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