Wednesday, September 29, 2010

By the time you read this, I might be in prison.



Sometimes I check out a couple of books at the library.


And sometimes I check out a lot of books at the library. That way I won't have to come back in the next day (I read really fast).

But I am kind of forgetful.

And sometimes when it's time to return them, I can't find a book or two.

And after a few days of searching, I forget about them. For a year.


I always return them eventually. And I'll try to pay the fines. But there were times when I was too poor to do that, and so I had to just avoid the library until I had more money. Or until I moved.

(Usually until I moved.)

I now have overdue fines at 7 different libraries, in 4 different states.

They haven't come after me yet.


But I know it's only a matter of time.

.


Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Ok, I'll admit it. I love my job.



My boss just turned to me and asked;

"Helena, what is the 'You Tube'?"

And it made my day.


Monday, September 27, 2010

Another romantic conversation



Kurt "I'm glad you have 3 missing teeth, instead of 6 extra ones."

Me "....me too?"

Kurt "Yeah. But if you did have 6 extra ones, you probably wouldn't have collar bones. Then you could clap your shoulders together. That might be cool."

Me "....."

Kurt "Still, it's better that you're just missing 3."


I guess I can't argue that one.
.


Saturday, September 25, 2010

There are some things I don't miss about being a student...



I stayed up all night and studied.

I think it went well.

And now? I'm going to sleep.


Friday, September 24, 2010

I have a midterm tomorrow.



Remember when I suddenly realized that my online class was ending and I hadn't actually done any of the work?

Well, they granted me a 3 month extension.

And now I am studying for my test. Really hard.

Here is what my day has been like so far:

Study
Study
Study
Study
Modern Family
Study
Study
The Office
Study
Study
Study
Online shopping
Study
Study
Lunch

So if you'll excuse me, I need to go watch Glee crack open those books.

.


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Blood and guts are just not my thing. Usually.



I was checking out the writers prompts over at Thursday Thunks, and number 9 caught my eye.

"You are driving down a road and your GPS says turn right, but the road has a Dead End sign. You check your GPS and according to it's map, there is a road at the end of the Dead End road that you need to turn onto. Do you follow the GPS?"

That depends. Are there zombies? Because if there are, there is no way I'm going down a street that says "dead" in the sign.

That's basic zombie survival stuff. I shouldn't have to tell you this.

-----

I am not really into horror movies.

I like thrillers, and supernatural stuff is ok. But blood and guts are just not my thing.

Usually.

But since this is my blog, and it is a judgment-free space (I'm looking at you, Annie), I'll tell you guys a secret.

(I like zombie movies)

I started watching them a few years ago. In secret. Because I knew my sisters would never understand.

There's just something about seeing dead people trying to eat you that gets me every time.

My absolute favorite zombie movie? Zombieland.

Zombieland
(it's really funny. And, you know, gross)


My favorite zombie book? The Forest of Hands and Teeth

The Forest of Hands and Teeth
(it's actually a beautifully written story, and you'll probably like it even if you aren't into post-apocalyptic horror)


These kinds of books and movies give me crazy nightmares. And daymares.

I'll be driving down the street, or looking out my office window, and suddenly I'll be calculating my chances, and plotting my escape.

I'll get an adrenaline surge as I picture people jumping on top of cars, and breaking down doors, in search of a fresh throat to bite (and not in a sexy vampire way).

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't survive. I want to, obviously. But I just don't see myself as the heroic type.

I'm going to have to work on that.

Another good zombie movie is Shaun of the Dead

Shaun of the Dead
(I like it when movies don't take themselves too seriously.)


And I don't really recommend the new Resident Evil movie. I saw that last night. In 3D. By myself.

And it wasn't very scary.

I jumped a few times, but it was just a little too "defeat this new bad guy and move on to level 3" for me.

I know, I know. That series is based on a video game. It's just, the zombies felt like an afterthought.

(the first few movies were better)

-----

You're judging again, aren't you?

It's ok, I understand.

These bad guys don't sparkle in the sun.

You don't have to like them.

But someday, when the undead come knocking on your door? You'll probably wish you had watched a few back when you had the chance. You know, for pointers.

Like this one: Stay away from dead ends.


Obviously.

.


Tuesday, September 21, 2010

I prefer to call it "genetically superior"



I went to the dentist the other week.

For the first time in 12 years.

No, you read it right. 12 years. And it was the second time in my life.

Growing up, we were really poor. Remember how we didn't have money for Health Insurance? Well, we didn't have money for a lot of things. Including yearly teeth cleanings.

And, um, when I was little? Brushing my teeth wasn't exactly my first priority.


I was really nervous. I had admitted to Kurt that is had been a few years since my last visit, but I hadn't told him just how many years we were talking about.

He's a dental student. He wouldn't understand.

But I did insist on going to see a real dentist, and not a student at the school.

There's nothing wrong with the students- they do a great job. But I know a lot of them, and Kurt knows the rest of them, and if my teeth were crumbling and about to fall out, I didn't want it getting around the school.

Dental students are the worst gossips.

Especially the male ones.

-------

I was nervous. Really nervous. I even flossed for the occasion (I floss my teeth just about as often as I go to the dentist).

I had years of Calculus buildup (Kurt refuses to call it Tartar), and it took me a few tries to figure out the spit-sucking machine.

But as for my teeth? The ones that I thought would be crumbling and falling out?

4 Cavities.

That's it.

And they aren't even serious. "You could just wait until next year, and have your husband fix them in the clinic. They aren't bad at all."

I was shocked. And impressed with my dental genetics.


But I guess it makes sense, because my little brother just went to the dentist for the first time in his life (he's 15), and he didn't have a single cavity.

We totally lucked out in that area of the genetic lottery.

Kurt was impressed. Mostly when he saw my X-rays.

"Whoa, 3 of your wisdom teeth are missing! And the other one is fully ruptured, but perfectly placed. You aren't going to need any surgery."

Even better. For years I'd been worried about it. I had heard that it's possible for the surgeon to nick a nerve, and for one half of your face to go completely slack for the rest of your life.

And I just knew that that would happen to me.

(It turns out the nerve damage would only cause loss of feeling, not loss of motor function. But I didn't know that.)

A few years ago when I was teething (which hurts like hell), I decided that I was going to wait until after I got married to get them removed. That way, if my face became lopsided, it would be too late for the guy to run. I'd have already snagged him.

But now? I don't have to worry about any kind of nerve damage. Score.

I guess the moral of this story is if you are going to be really poor, make sure you live on a farm in Michigan. The fluoride levels are to die for.

.


Monday, September 20, 2010

I might just skip church. For a year.



Guess what my new church calling is?

Here's a hint.

I wish I was joking.

Kurt: "So, you wanted to have kids soon?"

Me: "Never mind. Just....never mind."

.


Sunday, September 19, 2010

I feel like there should be more stuff on here.



Welcome to this week's edition of


This week on Reasons to Lose

I needed motivation


This week on the Internet

Pandora's advertising is incredibly relevant. It's like they know me.


This week's things I wish I could plagiarize

The facebook password trick

Who's blog is it anyway?

It's ok. She didn't kill him.


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Friday, September 17, 2010

I want to make my mark on the world. Even if it's just a little mark, in a tiny corner.



Hi guys, I am participating in the SITS Get Back to Blogging event.

Today's prompt: Why Do You Blog?

I write because it makes me happy. It's an incredible creative outlet. And I love to make you laugh.

I've never been good at keeping a journal. I've tried a few times, but I never get more than 9 pages down before I lose it, or start using it as a paperweight. There are so many things I wish I could go back and read about- but I can't, because I was too lazy to write.

This is one of my biggest regrets.

Blogging serves so many purposes. It's a way for my family to know what's going on in my life (although sometimes that backfires). It is a way to reach out and connect with people (when I am alone in an office all day, this makes a really big difference). It's an exercise in introspection, and a motive for observation.

It's an awesome way to drive Kurt crazy.

(Don't underestimate that)

And it just makes me feel good.

Back to the journaling thing for a moment. My mom didn't keep many journals. What I wouldn't give to be able to read about her as a teenager, or a first time mother.

I'll never get the chance to ask her about these things. If she had written them down, I would be able to read her words and get to know her in more than an irritated daughter/exasperated mother relationship.

But she didn't, and I can't.

I hope I live longer than she did. I hope I get to see my kids graduate high school, and get married. And I would love meet my grandkids.

But if I don't, I want to leave my words behind. I want my children to read them. I want them to get to know their mom.

Not a glowing, perfected memory (who would speak ill of the dead?), but a realistic look at my flaws and my quirks and all the things that make me, me. I want them to smile at my ridiculous titles, and think "Wow, she's just like me!" or "Thank goodness I'm more like dad."

I want to make my mark on the world. Even if it's just a little mark, in a tiny corner.

I want to matter.

I have stories to tell. The little, funny, irritating, normal stories that make up my life.

I didn't think so many of you would listen.

I don't really know why you do.

But whenever I see your smiling faces in the google friend box, or read a thoughtful comment, it inspires me. It keeps me going.

You guys, I also write for you.


Thank you for reading.


This event is being sponsored by Standards of Excellence,Westar, and Florida Builder Appliances.


Thursday, September 16, 2010

The women who inspire me



Hi guys, I am participating in the SITS Get Back to Blogging event.

Today's prompt: Write a new post about a woman who inspires you.

I am constantly finding women to admire and look up to. No, I'm not talking about half-dressed women on billboards (get it? admire and look up to?).

How the heck am I supposed to pick one?

I could write about my mother, because really, she inspires me the most. But it's already stormy outside, and I have to be careful on days like this. If I start crying, I'm afraid I won't ever stop.

(original picture by scott.mcandrew)

I could write about my mother in law, but she would kill me. Literally. They would be finding pieces of me scattered across the countryside (she doesn't really approve of blogging)(ok, that's an understatement. She really, really really doesn't approve of blogging. Really).

I could choose a sister and write about her, but my other sisters would probably get mad and I just can't risk that kind of retaliation.

There are so many women that inspire me, both in real life, and online. Women who are strong, talented, funny, and confident.

So what am I supposed to do?

Write about all of them?

....Huh. That could work.

To the women who inspire me.

To the women who make me laugh, and the ones who make me cry. The women who make motherhood look beautiful, exciting, funny, and terrifying. To the strong women, and kind women, and the women who find happiness and joy even when everything goes wrong. To the women who make me think "I kind of want to be you when I grow up."

The women who aren't afraid to reach out and make friends, and the ones who find beauty in solitary moments.

And all the women who inspire me in real life, but who don't have blogs I can link to (or who would prefer that I don't).

To the women who make me want to be more than I am. Or rather, to be who I am, only more.

Thank you.

This event is being sponsored by Standards of Excellence,Westar, and Florida Builder Appliances.


Wednesday, September 15, 2010

My voice is more important than an SEO friendly title.



Hi guys, I am participating in the SITS Get Back to Blogging event.

Today's prompt: Re-upload a post with a title that you are particularly proud of and explain why.

This one was hard. I am not really good at coming up with titles. Usually I finish a post, and stare at that blank title space for a few hours minutes before I finally just write something dumb and hit publish.

This used to bug me, but then Elizabeth at Twelve Crafts to Christmas left me this comment, and it changed the way I look at my titles:

"You know what I love about your blog . . . it's the fact that when I'm scrolling down my google reader and all I can see is the title of the post, I instantly know it's your blog . . . just from the post title. When I read, "Sorry you're not memorable . . . but at least your job sucks," I knew it was your post. ;) "

So you know what? They may not be SEO friendly, but those ridiculous titles? They are part of who I am.

So here you go. This is my very favorite title. I hope you like it, too.

A used condom? Aw, thanks Pittsburgh. How did you know?

I went over to my friend Alexia's house after work, and helped her clean. She's getting married TODAY, and she needed to be out of her apartment by last night. It was the last minute kind of stuff- scrubbing floors, packing up the food, cleaning the refrigerator, etc.

I think that counts double. I cleaned, and it was service. Pretty sure that means I don't have to clean my apartment for at least a month. All in favor, say Aye!


I've been thinking about starting a new series, about Pittsburgh. After all, this is Life in the Pitts. Now that it's warm out, I've started exploring a little bit more, and you guys- Pittsburgh is awesome! I want to start taking pictures of it, and showing it to you.

What would I call that? Pictures of Pittsburgh? Steeler Scenes? I Suck At Titles?

If you have any ideas, let me know.

No rush or anything- it's not like I can start right now. My camera is in the shop. It has been for almost 3 months. And I am really, really mad a Sony.


Last night I went running again. I go all the time.

Ok, that was a lie. I go sometimes. And I do more walking than running. But don't worry, I'm still on for the 1/8K this fall.

After I got home from my grueling cleaning session over at Alexia's (see? I totally earned that break), I grabbed my sports bra and running shoes and headed out the door. In Kurt's socks. Which are huge.

"Hey Kurt, these socks are HUGE. I think my feet have shrunk."

"....."

"Ok, that might be a lie. I'm wearing your socks. See ya!"

I ran out the door before he could answer. I thought about not saying anything, but he would have figured it out. He has a very organized sock drawer.


When I got to Schenley, I noticed a used, juicy condom that someone had thoughtfully left right next to my parking spot.

Oh Pittsburgh. You shouldn't have.

Just be glad I didn't have my camera, because I would definitely be putting that image up.


I thought about grabbing it. I don't have a gift for Alexia, and this could be from me, AND Pittsburgh. Or maybe we could use it to decorate their car.

...Just kidding. I WOULD NEVER DO THAT.

At least, not while my camera is broken.

Thanks Sony. You just ruined Alexia's wedding.


This event is being sponsored by Standards of Excellence,Westar, and Florida Builder Appliances.

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Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I am not pregnant. But thank you for asking.



Hi guys, I am participating in the SITS Get Back to Blogging event.

Today's prompt: Re-Upload A Post You Wish More People Had Read

That's easy. I wish everyone I know would read this post, because then maybe they would stop asking.

"Are you guys trying yet?" is fine. But "When are you due?" will never be a good way to endear yourself to me.

A few thoughts on not being pregnant...

You guys, it happened. And I am not happy. I was in church on Sunday, just minding my own business, when a man came up to me and stared at my stomach.

"When are you due?"

...what??

"I'm not pregnant." I said, horrified.

He laughed. "No, really. When are you due?"

I was speechless. "She isn't pregnant" said Kurt, coming up behind me.

There was a pause. A long, awkward pause as the man looked back and forth between me, Kurt, and my not-pregnant stomach.

"Oh. Wow." Then he walked away.

Kurt and I just stared at each other.

Next time that happens, I'm going to smile, pat my tummy, and say "April. Of 2012, butthead."

(Only I might not sensor it. It'll probably depend on how much chocolate I've had that day)

Then I'll punch him in the face. Or maybe I'll just go cry (Also depending on my chocolate intake).

Now I'm not sure what to say when I see this man. I'm thinking we will probably both pretend like it didn't happen. But it's sure gonna be awkward.

Have you guys ever had this happen to you?? Or maybe you've been the one to ask this question. Please let me know. I could use a few laughs, and I'd love to not be the only person in this situation!

Now please excuse me while I go eat my weight in vending machine candy bars.

(kidding, of course. I'm pretty sure I'm never going to eat again.)

-----


I'm linking this post to my sister's meme, Small Treasures Tuesday. Because avoiding that man at church for the past few months has been a treasure.



This event is being sponsored by Standards of Excellence,Westar, and Florida Builder Appliances.

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My very first post.



Hi guys, I am participating in the SITS Get Back to Blogging event.

Yesterday's prompt (yeah, I forgot): Re-upload the first post you ever wrote on your blog

I posted this on 9/15/09. A year ago tomorrow.

Well, I didn't want to lie

The other day, I posted a new tag line on Facebook (aka My Obsession). "Heléna is thinking about starting a blog. Because she's married. and that's what married people do." (It was an astoundingly accurate status. You know you are nodding in agreement.)

After that, I had no choice.

Kurt wasn't really happy. You'd think it was Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, or maybe this years stimulus plan: He just doesn't believe in it. Well, we will show him!

(Yup, I'm imagining me and the Easter Bunny marching off to save the economy. And then blogging about it.)

What I liked about this post:

It set the tone for my whole blog. I'd say it was a pretty good introduction into why I was blogging, and what kind of things I would be blogging about. It introduces the main cast (me and Kurt), and pretty accurately predicts what our roles will be. He doesn't approve, and I'm writing about him anyway.

What I would change:

I would add a picture of us. Probably this one:

(we took this picture about 3 minutes after he proposed)


-----


How about you? How has your writing evolved since you first started?


This event is being sponsored by Standards of Excellence,Westar, and Florida Builder Appliances.

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Monday, September 13, 2010

Am I the only one who hates Comcast?



Our internet isn't working. I left work on Friday, and I've been trapped in the real world ever since. So imagine my surprise when I opened my blog this morning, and found this post by my sister Chantel.

(Yes, that story is true. I really did lock the babysitter in the basement, and then read scary stories through the door.)

While I'm plotting my revenge, here's my fourth edition of:


This week on the Internet:

I was a Featured Guest Star at Suzy's Artsy Craftsy Sitcom. And it was really, really fun.

And then I overshared on Facebook

Things I want to plagiarize:

Your voice is worth more than a box of cereal.

"...it’s so easy to compare your real self with someone else’s fake self."

This one made me cry.

And finally, This is my favorite wedding flash mob EVER. And I'll embed it below, just for you guys.



--------

And now I want to get to know you! Leave a comment with a link to your best written post, so I can come read it.

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Friday, September 10, 2010

I'm glad I never babysat Helena



Hey guys! It's Chantel again.
You might remember me from when Helena asked me to blog for her, or when I unexpectedly visited again

Recently Helena visited my blog in return 
(for the record, the toilet thing was a dare)

While at work I shared some of Helena's blog stories with one of my coworkers, and I remembered a story I want to share with you guys.

One of the things Helena and I have in common is that we enjoy getting scared during movies, stories and haunted houses. 

I didn't start to enjoy it as early on in life as Helena.

I have many memories of her sneaking into mine and Amber's bedroom at night (we shared a room all growing up) and reading us a story from one of her favorite books "Scary Stories to tell in the Dark"

Have you ever read that book? It's creepy. 
I'm pretty sure it would scream if you burned it.
(at least that's how I felt when I was younger)

Well, the incident I remembered was when we had our babysitter over.
I can't remember her name, so I'll call her Carrie
Carrie was a cool babysitter- she always brought Labyrinth with her for us to watch

One time Helena really wanted to read that book to our babysitter, but Carrie didn't do well with scary things, and she wouldn't let Helena read the stories out loud.

So Helena, being the demon angelic child she was, made up an emergency in the basement. Carrie ran down the basement stairs ready to rescue one of us from some terrifying catastrophe... only to find that the basement -though creepy- was empty.

Carrie then went back up the stairs, ready to lecture Helena about "crying wolf" when she couldn't open the door! Someone had locked her in! Now, if that wasn't bad enough they also turned off the lights!

Poor Carrie was at the top of a staircase leading into a dark and cold basement, with no light, and no way out.


Helena then proceeded to read from her book, "Scary Stories to tell in the Dark" through the door.

When Helena finally let Carrie out, she was crying, and terrified.

As far as I know, she never told my parents, and for some reason she kept coming back... I think she must have either loved us anyway, or really needed money.

But I don't think she ever let herself be alone in any of our rooms again.

All I'm saying is, as awesome as Helena is, I'm glad I never babysat my sister.



Thursday, September 9, 2010

He is such a lucky guy.



We were sitting on the bed, and I was petting my leg hair.

"This is my favorite length. It's long enough to not be prickly, but short enough to not be completely gross."

He just stared at me.

"Here, do you want to feel it?"

"....are you kidding?"

I gave him a slightly wounded look. "No babe, I'm serious. I think it feels nice."

He reached out, and touched my leg hair. Then he quickly pulled away, a slight grimace on his face.

I looked at him expectantly.

"It feels nice, huh?"

He gave me a weak smile. "Um, sure. It's great."

And that is how I know he loves me.


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I'm linking this post to my sister's meme, Small Treasures Tuesday. Because the look on his face was a treasure.




Wednesday, September 8, 2010

And there wasn't even a tornado that time.



(I'm scheduling this post ahead of time, because today I'm heading over to Suzy's Artsy-Craftsy Sitcom for an interview. Which you will not want to miss)

YES! The leaves are starting to change. Pretty soon there are going to be piles of crunchy leaves on the ground, just waiting to be raked up and jumped in.

(photo by michaelaw)

When I lived on the blueberry farm in Michigan, we had a really flat yard (except for the bomb shelter in the back), with a lot of trees. And our yard was HUGE. We're talking thousands and thousands of leaves.

I loved jumping in the piles. And then picking bits and pieces out of my hair for the next three days (I didn't shower very often back then).

(the yard was similar to this one, by mossholder)

You know what else we had? Giant wind storms. The kind that would knock the power out for a whole week.

This one time we had a crazy windstorm, and when we went outside the next day, all of our beautiful, crunchy leaves were gone.

We looked across the street, and our neighbors house was covered.

You couldn't even see the front windows.

It was the biggest pile we had ever seen.

We felt kind of bad, and thought about mentioning it to our parents...

...but then we realized that they would make us clean it up.

You guys, these weren't even our nice neighbors.

So we pretended we didn't notice.

Life in the Pitts

(these are actual photographs from our childhood. We had an awesome camera.)

In that same crazy storm, the wind picked up our trampoline, and wrapped it around a tree.

No really, that happened.

It was pretty intense.

Life in the Pitts
(David really liked soccer)

And there wasn't even a tornado that time.

It really did knock out our power for a week. My mom got pretty stressed out. But I didn't really mind. It's not like I would have showered anyway.

-----


I'm not sure what the moral of this story is. Maybe...go jump in some leaves? Or possibly... Chantel loves Cats.

What do you love about fall?

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Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I think I need to start a new blog.



As in, another blog. I'd keep this one.

But one just isn't enough.

The problem with this blog is everybody knows about it. Which I love. But also? I hate it.

I crave anonymity.

I tried using my nickname for a while. Some of you might remember that. I only told my friends and sisters about my blog. I specifically did not tell certain people, because I did not want them reading it.

It didn't work.

Because people are nosy. And some will go to extreme measures to meddle in your life.

And I got in trouble.

I have so many funny and frustrating stories I want to share with you guys. But I can't. Because someone else has decided that they get to edit what I write.

And it drives me crazy.

See?

I need a new blog.

One that I can write about whatever I want. Kind of like Shell.

What do you think?

.


Monday, September 6, 2010

Just a normal conversation



"Let me look at your cheeks."

I turned my face towards the light.

"No, I mean, let me look at the inside of your cheeks."

A minute later my mouth was open, and he was feeling around with his fingers.

"Ok, good."

"Why did that just happen?"

"I was making sure you don't have hair growing inside your mouth. It can get pretty long."

"....."

I am so glad I married a dental student.

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Sunday, September 5, 2010

It's totally Fall. When did that happen?



Welcome to my third edition of



On Reasons To Lose

I showed off my awesome photography skills

And then I tried to come up with a sneaky plan . But it turns out I'm bad at those.

And finally, I realized that I need to learn how to tone down my grunting.


On the Internet

I sucked on Twitter.


Things I wish I could take credit for, because they are awesome.

This child has the right idea.

I wish I didn't identify with this post. BUT I DO.

I agree with the Athiest (No, not the one with the blow dryer. The one who wrote this post).

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And now I want to get to know you! Leave a comment with a link to your best written post, so I can come read it.

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Friday, September 3, 2010

I probably have hundreds of ghosts all up in my nose hair.



When I was little, somebody told me that if you didn't hold your breath when you passed by a cemetery, something bad would happen.

I assumed ghosts would fly in through your nose, because why else would it matter?

Life in the Pitts

I told my sisters, and it became our favorite superstition. We never worried about black cats, ladders, or throwing salt over our shoulders. But whenever we drove by a cemetery, we made a point of holding our breath, and crossing our fingers.

(No, crossing your fingers wasn't part of the original superstition. But we figured it couldn't hurt.)

My dad caught on, and sometimes he would slow to a crawl when we drove by the tombstones. Our little faces would turn bright red, and we would start bouncing up and down anxiously.

Clearly, he had a terrible sense of humor.

-----

Sometimes when I had friends in the car, I would try to do it subtly. Not because I was embarrassed, but because there simply wasn't time to explain. I would slouch down in my seat, and quietly hold my breath.

"Why are you crossing your arms like that?"

Because crossing your fingers once is good luck, and twice is bad luck. Obviously. Since I wanted both hands involved, I needed to counter-act the bad luck by crossing my arms, too.

I would have explained, but my dad was slowing down again, and I had to focus on holding my breath.

Life in the Pitts

By the time we were teenagers, we had it down to a science. If you saw headstones in the distance, you would nudge the person sitting next to you, and gesture with your eyes in an effort to keep dad from noticing. Then you would wait until the last possible second, and take a big gulp of air.

"I can see your eyes are crossed. Maybe I should slow down, and let you catch your breath."

Like I said, terrible sense of humor.

(yes, crossing our eyes WOULD have ruined it, but we crossed our legs, too.)

I haven't done this in years, mostly because trying to steer with your fingers, arms, eyes, and legs all crossed is a lot more difficult than it sounds.

Yeah. I probably have hundreds of ghosts all up in my nose hair.

-----

It's been years since I've thought about this superstition. Amber reminded me of it when she was here, and when I explained it to Kurt, he didn't seem surprised.

He probably already knew about it, actually, since I am so predictable (jerk).

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I don't really have any superstitions anymore. I check the doors before going to sleep, I glance in the back seat before getting in the car, and I try not to park next to big white vans when I'm at the grocery store. But those are just practical things.

Then again, most superstitions probably seem practical to the people who believe them.

For example: We've all heard stories of people who park next to big, windowless vans. They get dragged inside, and are never heard from again.

But a few hundred years ago if someone witnessed an abduction, and noticed a black cat watching from a nearby windowsill, they would have made the obvious connection.

Black cat = YOU WILL BE KIDNAPPED.

(It's how that one started. Probably.)

Life in the Pitts

I wonder if anything we do right now will be considered a superstition by our grandchildren.

Things like....

....huh. I can't think of anything. Except for brushing your teeth and putting on deodorant. I'm not sure why those things came to mind right away. Maybe because I forgot both today?

Hopefully those don't go out of style.

I'll let you guys know if I think of any more.

Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to go look up superstitions on the internet.

Do you have any favorites?

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Thursday, September 2, 2010

And the Best Sister Award goes to....



Yes!!!

My sister came to visit!
(This sister)

I've been waiting and waiting for my family to come. I would watch my friends Nicole and Tiffany as their families flew in to stay with them again and again. And I was happy for them.

(Ok, that's a lie. I was jealous. Completely jealous. Like, I wanted to hit them over their heads with their trendy clothes and yummy recipes. I didn't though. BECAUSE I'M A GOOD FRIEND).

It's not that my family doesn't miss me (I think). It's just that they are busy, and they don't have a lot of extra money right now, and they prefer reading about my life to actually being in my life.

But then Amber called me one day and said "Dave and I want to come visit! How does next week sound?"

"Um, it sounds AWESOME."

And it was.

We saw the sights, ate yummy food, and made them sleep on the Foam (because we are terrible hosts).

(We took lots of pictures, but they are all on her camera, and she hasn't shared them yet. So for now, you'll have to use your imagination.)

She made me promise not to mention anything about her trip to you guys until after she got home. Something about security, and privacy, and not wanting creepy stalkers to know their house was empty and practically begging to get robbed (I'm paraphrasing).

We made desserts, and went on long walks, and laughed until we cried.

I really missed her.

Also, when I made the mistake of telling her about my exercise goal for the week, she made me stick to it. Because she is a jerk.

But I forgave her because the 30 Day Shred is so much more fun when you aren't the only one cussing out Jillian Michaels.


She and Dave stayed for 6 days, but I swear it felt more like 2. Time just flew.


And when I dropped them off at the airport yesterday (at 5:30am), I wasn't worried anymore. I know they will come back to visit. Because we are THAT MUCH FUN.

(And also? I stole a bunch of stuff out of her suitcase. That's right Amber- if you want it back, you can come and get it)

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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Well. There goes the magic.



Ugh. My wife went back to school again. Which means I am going to have to start helping out with the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. I know.

He had the whole month off. And it was awesome.

His frown lines started smoothing over.


He had time to exercise, relax, read, and plan romantic evenings.

We hung pictures on the wall. Entertained friends. Went on bike rides.

Heck, we exercised. Together.

And I got used to having him around.

We stopped fighting (I guess it really was just stress that was making him a terrible person).

But now it's fall. And Monday was the first day of the semester.

Sigh.

I guess I'll see him again at Christmastime...

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