Monday, November 29, 2010

If you loved me, you'd change my diaper.



"How was nursery today?"

"Ugh. I can still smell them."

"What?"

"That room always smells like pee by the end of church. It's because most of the kids are in diapers, you know?"

"If I had a diaper, I'd pee in it."

I stared at him.

"Just a heads up."

"You're planning on wearing a diaper?"

"You know, someday. And I'll probably smell like pee all the time. Because, why not?"

"Ummm, I hope you don't expect me to change your diaper. Because that is never going to happen."

"What? But you're my wife. It's your job!"

"It is not my job to wipe your butt, Kurt, and it never will be. We will be paying someone else to do that."

"My love tank is empty right now."

...and I didn't even care.

.


22 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Bwahaha. Fortunately, I live with someone who does this kind of stuff for a living. Dealing with poop and pee, and my passing gas all the time, so I think he will be charmed.

manysleeplessnights.com said...

Poor old man Kurt. But honestly? I'm a nurse & I'm pretty sure I would pay somebody else to come in & wipe my husband's ass. So there you go :)

Andrea said...

Been there, done that! My mother in law lived with us until right before she died. We had a few disasters and always cleaned it up. Tough, but necessary.

Shell said...

I don't think I could deal with changing an adult diaper.

amyblam.com said...

Next time I go to New Orleans I am wearing a diaper. I'm over the severely off ratio between yummy drinks, fried food and acceptablemopen containers and no restrooms.

beka said...

Ohhhh man!
Uh yeah, I am SO not going to be wiping anyone's butts.
Hello?!?!? Go do it yourself.
Oh golly.
Love tank is empty?? LOL

TKW said...

I have been wiping butts for almost 10 years--I call it "The Lost Decade." I am certainly not going through that in my sunset years.

MiMi said...

EEEEWWW. No wiping grown up asses for me.

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

yeah, that is so not going to happen here either.

FreeFlying said...

Do you have a transcript of your marital vows? Because you should definitely check them for butt wiping. Don't worry, though. If it's in there, I'll totally go loophole hunting with you. It's a hobby of mine.

Sandy said...

Nope am not doing it adult diapers are out.

Kimberly said...

Old people diapers are the worst. Had to do that in nursing school and you couldn't pay me enough to do it again. I've seen enough wrinkley ass to last me a lifetime. No thank you and I don't care how much I love you. Shudder.

tsonodablog said...

ROFL. Love this.
Actually had to do some of this after my partner had a stroke, but thank God everything is ok now. It was not my favorite task.....not even at the top of my unfavorite tasks.

Terri
:-0

Danielle said...

you are LUCKY his "love tank" is empty or you'd be expected to clean that up too!

Kenzie said...

I kind of like it when my husbands love tank is empty....it means more me time!

Shauna said...

Bwahahaha!! Im totally with you! I cant do the adult diaper thing! Good Luck!

viewfromdownhere said...

Um....yeah...I'm there with you. Totally wouldn't be ok wiping T's ass. Sorry, you gotta draw the line somewhere!

DB said...

Oddly enough, I've had the same exact conversation with my mother.

The Empress said...

He is not weird, he is wonderful.

I'm so going to use that, "my love tank is empty."

Crystal said...

LOL! Too frickin' funny. ANd I'm with ya...I only love my kiddos enough to change their diapers....everybody else it OUT OF LUCK!

http://survivingandthrivinginmom-dom.blogspot.com

Jessica said...

Blahhhh haaaaaa haaaaaa!

Mrs4444 said...

hahaha One day, when my son was feeling lazy (and sick) and wanted a bowl of rice really badly, I told him I would make him one, but for each bowl of rice that I made him, he'd have to agree to change one of my diapers when I am old. We were LOAO. By the end of the weekend, I was up to three diapers. We still laugh about that (years later). Little does he know, I might hold him to it!haha

Also, my MIL has two sons, one who lives far away. She is very generous with me when it comes to gifts. Sometimes, I think it's because she's hoping I will change her diapers one day. (I probably will.)

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