"Forget Thanksgiving, write about that time you fell down."
I'm on it.
A little while ago, I decided to wear heels to work (I wanted to impress all of the ladies in the lunch room with my sexy strut).
This was a few weeks after my leg collapsed for no reason. But I was feeling pretty confident, since I hadn't experienced any reoccurring paralysis.
Also, I was wearing a new shirt.
I owned that office.
At the end of the day, I stood up and stretched. Time to go home. I gathered together my belongings (which always end up strewn across my desk, no matter how hard I try to contain them), and headed out the door.
I thought about taking the elevator, but decided against it. Why not use the stairs? I could get in my exercise for the day, and practice my seductive walk. BONUS.
....It was a bad choice.
I took one dainty little step, and my leg collapsed.
I rolled down an entire flight of linoleum stairs.
I could have died.
Or worse- Someone could have seen me!
My body came to rest against the dirty stairwell wall. I lay there for a second, wondering how the hell I had survived.
Then gingerly, I sat up and began to assess the damage. Nothing hurt very much, and there were no open wounds. I hadn't hit my head, and nothing seemed broken.
...Except my pride.
My new shirt was dirty, and sticking slightly to the gray patch of who-knows-what that was smeared along the wall.
Perfect. Just perfect.
I stared at my foot for a second, waiting for an explanation.
It wasn't asleep. There was no numbness, and that pins and needles feeling was jarringly absent.
Shaken, I stood up, and looked around. The downside to not having an audience is that no one is there to pick you up.
After a minute, I braced myself, and put my foot on the ground.
I added more weight, daring it to collapse. But it felt just as strong as ever.
Of course it was.
Sighing, I began to gather the contents of my purse.
I haven't worn heels since.
I would like to thank The Empress, for introducing me to Mama Kat. Without her, this story would never have been told.
(at least, not today)