"You are driving down a road and your GPS says turn right, but the road has a Dead End sign. You check your GPS and according to it's map, there is a road at the end of the Dead End road that you need to turn onto. Do you follow the GPS?"
That depends. Are there zombies? Because if there are, there is no way I'm going down a street that says "dead" in the sign.
That's basic zombie survival stuff. I shouldn't have to tell you this.
I am not really into horror movies.
I like thrillers, and supernatural stuff is ok. But blood and guts are just not my thing.
But since this is my blog, and it is a judgment-free space (I'm looking at you, Annie), I'll tell you guys a secret.
I started watching them a few years ago. In secret. Because I knew my sisters would never understand.
There's just something about seeing dead people trying to eat you that gets me every time.
(it's really funny. And, you know, gross)
My favorite zombie book? The Forest of Hands and Teeth
(it's actually a beautifully written story, and you'll probably like it even if you aren't into post-apocalyptic horror)
These kinds of books and movies give me crazy nightmares. And daymares.
I'll be driving down the street, or looking out my office window, and suddenly I'll be calculating my chances, and plotting my escape.
I'll get an adrenaline surge as I picture people jumping on top of cars, and breaking down doors, in search of a fresh throat to bite (and not in a sexy vampire way).
I'm pretty sure I wouldn't survive. I want to, obviously. But I just don't see myself as the heroic type.
I'm going to have to work on that.
(I like it when movies don't take themselves too seriously.)
And I don't really recommend the new Resident Evil movie. I saw that last night. In 3D. By myself.
And it wasn't very scary.
I jumped a few times, but it was just a little too "defeat this new bad guy and move on to level 3" for me.
I know, I know. That series is based on a video game. It's just, the zombies felt like an afterthought.
(the first few movies were better)
You're judging again, aren't you?
It's ok, I understand.
These bad guys don't sparkle in the sun.
You don't have to like them.
But someday, when the undead come knocking on your door? You'll probably wish you had watched a few back when you had the chance. You know, for pointers.
Like this one: Stay away from dead ends.