I need a tape measure. The fabric kind. Especially now that I have a new sewing machine. I mean sure, my old method worked alright. I'm just ready for an upgrade.
Take a piece of string. Wrap it around whatever you are measuring, and then compare the string to a ruler.
It isn't nearly as exact as a tape measure. But sometimes that's a good thing.
"My thighs are how big? Well. This system is definitely flawed. I should re-measure, but hey, look at the time..."