Monday, November 30, 2009

family home evening



I'm taking down all of the Thanksgiving Decorations right now. Kurt just caught a bus, and when he gets home from Campus we are setting up and decorating our First Christmas Tree! I am so excited. His parents let us borrow their first Christmas Tree. I'm not sure how big it is. I just know the boxes took up our ENTIRE CAR.

These are the original boxes, which they've been keeping it in for 35 years. Have I mentioned how excited I am?


That's ironic



I have to write about this because it DRIVES ME CRAZY. But I'm worried that I'll offend some of you. So if you start feeling attacked please just close the window and go do something else. I'm talking about the window on your computer, but you can also close the one on your wall if you think it would help.

It drives me crazy when people misuse the word "Ironic." I used to do this myself, until one day someone told me to stop or else. I went home and looked it up in the dictionary, and sure enough they were right. After that, I became hyper-aware of the term.

In church yesterday, a guy got up to speak. And he misused the word 3 times. In 5 minutes. I was ready to pull my hair out. "Ironically, the Branch President here was our Bishop back in the day..." Ugh! Every time he said that word I'd get tenser and tenser until finally I stood up and yelled "No. That is NOT ironic. It is coincidental. COINCIDENTAL!!" Except, I didn't really do that. It's just, i WANTED to. So badly.


Sunday, November 29, 2009

Frankenmuth



My last few posts haven't had a lot of pictures. But don't worry- this one makes up for that.

Frankenmuth is a little Bavarian village in Michigan. Well, it was. Now it's a hot Michigan tourist destination!! Think Christmas all year round. I've never been there before, and so Kurt decided this would be my year. He also decided that Black Friday would be the perfect day to go.

This is the Bavarian Inn. It is even cuter in person. We went here for lunch.

We found this statue inside the restaurant. Creepy much?

(My favorite thing about this picture? How much darker my face is than my neck. You probably thought that trend ended after high school. WELL I'M BRINGING IT BACK)

Here I am eating at the Bavarian Inn. We planned on getting there early enough to order lunch, but then we got up late. So when we were seated they handed us Dinner menus. There wasn't a single thing under $20. We awkwardly discussed skipping out, or sharing a plate. When our waitress came back Kurt asked her what time they stopped serving lunch. "Oh, we serve that all day! And actually, it has the exact same stuff on it. Just at cheaper prices." Um, why would anyone pay for dinner? The plates were so big, we could have split one lunch and still had leftovers. Moral of the story: always ask.

Here is a taffy pull machine at one of the adorable shops

There is a great covered bridge which we walked under. Halfway across I stopped and announced it was time to take a picture of us. So I held out the camera and snapped a photo. And then I took another one. And another and another and this is the best one we got. We are really bad at this.

Then he took one of me. Which I like a million times more.

Then we headed to Bronners, which is this GIANT Christmas store. I think it's the biggest in the world.

It was kind of overwhelming. And pricey!

And that was our day. Am I sad I missed out on all those Black Friday deals? Yes. But since I don't have a job, I wouldn't have been able to buy much anyway. And this was a great day.


Good news!



I just figured out how to schedule a blog post! This is great, because I will sometimes write 4-7 in a day, and I get so excited I just can't wait to post them. So I do. And then I TAKE OVER your follow box. And lets face it- I'm funny (I hope), but who wants to spend an hour reading my ramblings? Besides my sisters. But they don't count, because they HAVE to read them, and comment on all of them. It's a mandatory sister thing.

But now I will be able to schedule those posts in a more spread out, orderly manner. I tried it, just to make sure- and yup, it's still satisfying. IN FACT I am writing this post at 11:57pm on Saturday. But will you read this then? No you won't, because I am scheduling it for tomorrow. DURING CHURCH.


Saturday, November 28, 2009

"First grade called"



"They want their attitude back"

When I get bored, I revert back into a 6-yr old. In our single days, me and my roommate Kendra (who also had this problem) would glare at each other during church, steal each others purses, and pull each others hair. We were 22.

Kurt and I drove through the rain on our way to Michigan this week. Well, that's what I've been told- I was sleeping most of the time. I don't think we hit any animals, which is a nice change.

When I woke up, we talked about one of my favorite topics: other girls Kurt dated. I have this sick obsession with talking about them, and trying to figure out if they would have made a better wife than me. He told me about how a year ago his coworker was trying to set him up on a date. But it didn't work out, because the girl was weird. "Actually, that whole family was weird."

"Am I weird?"

He hesitated. HESITATED. Which means... "So you think I'm weird. Thanks Kurt." He got this panicked look on his face, like OH CRAP SHE'S MAD.

A few minutes later we pulled into a gas station. "Um, we're almost there. Do you want to go put on your makeup?"

WHAT?? "You think I need to go put on makeup?"

There was that look again. "No! It's just, you usually want to-"

"Awesome" I cut him off. "First I'm weird. Then I'm ugly."

I stalked towards the gas station, thinking "someone's not getting any tonight." When I got there, a huge black man was leaving the building. He looked like he was about 68, was well over 6 feet tall, and very round. "Well hello beautiful!" He drawled, tipping his hat. Then he hopped in his car and drove away. Adorable.

When I got back to the car, the first thing I said was "I almost ran away with a giant black grandpa. Because HE appreciates me."

I know, I know. I'm awful. But I had to do SOMETHING to keep myself entertained. And since Kurt's hair is so short, I have to think of other ways to torture him.


Fail



Guess what we just spent the last 2 hours doing?

Here's a hint: Kurt just discovered Failblog.org


The drawing



The results are in!

I used this very scientific method: I wrote down your names on a paper, and numbered them. Then I wrote down the numbers on little pieces of paper, crumpled them, put them in a bowl, and shook them up. Then my lovely assistant (who has asked that he remain unnamed) closed his eyes and picked out three little pieces of paper one by one.

And the winners are... (cue drum roll)...

Annie Kaiser!!

Ali Brough!!

Kelly Omness!!

Come on down and claim your prizes! And don't worry- that's just a metaphor. I don't actually expect you to come on down to get them. I am going to mail them to you. SO. I am gonna need your mailing addresses. Just send me an email at laniereeblog@gmail.com I promise that I will not just show up one day at your door and announce I'm moving in... except I might do that to Annie. But the other two girls are safe.


Just an update



Thank you everyone who participated in my very first giveaway! And especially to those of you who left multiple comments. I'm gonna pretend you did that because you just love my blog (and not because you were hoping I'd change the rules and let you enter multiple times). I look forward to doing more of these in the future. I have big plans involving sponsored giveaways and awesome prizes- but that could be a while down the road (everything depends on traffic). For now I hope you enjoy reading the random stuff I write about!

And finally, our winners. I will be drawing names TONIGHT. Which is super exciting (we are at Kurt's parents house, and they are calling me to breakfast). If you see your name on here, please get me your email address so I can figure out where to send your Thanksgiving prize.


My favorite pie of the year



My feelings for pumpkin pie are complicated. I love almost everything about it- The smell of it baking in the oven. The homey look of it sitting on the counter. I don't think I could handle a Thanksgiving without it. I'd just be wandering around, feeling like something was missing. The only thing I don't like about pumpkin pie is actually eating it.

Eew.

I like almost every other pumpkin treat- pumpkin ice cream, pumpkin rolls, pumpkin bread. Just not the pie.


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Rest stop



I had an awesome bathroom experience today (perfect first sentence? why yes, I think so). We stopped at a gas station. When I found the restrooms at the back of the store, I noticed something funny- the girls bathroom had a nice plastic sign announcing that it was the ladies room. Next door, the mens room had a taped up, torn piece of lined paper for their sign.

When I met Kurt back at the car, I asked him about his bathroom. "It was awful. I didn't want to touch ANYTHING. I don't think it had been cleaned in weeks." I started laughing. Then I described the ladies room.

It had a Tuscan theme. Flower sconces on the walls, a newly tiled floor. The marble sink had folded towels, lotion, and tissues nicely stacked. And it was one of the cleanest bathrooms I've ever been in. It had an automated sink, and it smelled like flowers.

He was so mad. And I'm still laughing.


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I should be...



Packing. Cleaning. Sleeping. After all, we are leaving for Michigan at 9am, and I am not going to want to do that stuff in the morning.

Instead, I am...

Blogging. Crafting. Eating Ice Cream. And I don't even feel guilty.


Aw man!



I wrote 7 blogs yesterday. I was gonna spread them out over the week, but I just got so excited and couldn't help myself and I posted 5 of them. Now what am I gonna do? I've used up all my interesting thoughts.

This could be a very boring week for Life in the Pitts.


Monday, November 23, 2009

You give me fever



You know how sometimes you can tell if you're starting to get sick, because you start to sweat a lot?

You do not want to be in my armpits right now.


Still Suspicious



I took your advice and I called the police today. And I told them about our friend in the van. They said they would send someone by to check it out. I waited, and watched, and eventually got bored and went shopping. While I was wandering through Michaels, I got a phone call from a 412 number. "Please let it be a job interview, please be a job interview..."

But it was the police, reporting back to me. Turns out she is a school teacher. Who can't get internet anywhere else. And so she sits in her van in the parking lot every single day, arriving anywhere from 10am to noon and staying until 5pm or later, with the van running the entire time, even though there is a library not even a mile away that is open during those hours and shouldn't a school teacher be IN SCHOOL during those hours and how much is she paying in gas and THIS STILL SEEMS SUSPICIOUS TO ME.

So don't worry guys. Just because she has the police fooled doesn't mean she can pull the wool over my eyes! If you're looking for me, I'm probably standing at my window, peeking out the blinds, wearing a bathrobe and fuzzy slippers with a shower cap on my head. Talking to my imaginary cat.


Good neighbors



Our neighbor is a third year dental student. And even though we have lived next door to each other for 3 months now, we've never met. Because she's busy learning how to be a dentist. And we are too full of ourselves to go say hi.

Last week I made a pan of Ghirardelli Brownies (which are so yummy). I decided that letting that whole pan sit on my counter was a bad idea, and so I cut out a big chunk and left it on her door. Don't worry, I wrapped it in saran wrap first. Then I attached a little card to it, saying:

"To our Dental Student Neighbor. Sorry we haven't said hi. And sorry this is so ghetto. but I promise it tastes good! - Kurt and Helena"

Yesterday she retaliated. We opened our door to find THIS:

Only, it wasn't half eaten then. She bought us an ENTIRE pan of brownies topped with fudge and cream cheese icing. Her full size card said this:

"Thank you so much for the brownie. It was delicious! I hope you like this one. It is from the best bakery in the area."

OH, IT IS SO ON. Does she really think she can win this game?

"Kurt, what are we gonna do?"

His face looked grim. "We'll think of something."

I have a Pumpkin Roll in the oven, and I'm running out to buy more cream cheese for the filling. That's right. WHO'S THE BETTER NEIGHBOR NOW.


Chewing marbles



The last two mornings have been awful. I've woken up with Migraines both times. You know, the light-sensitive ache, coupled with the movement-induced stabs of pain behind the eyes. Not fun at all. But we figured out what's causing it! I am grinding my teeth.

Yuck.

I do this when I am super stressed out. The summer after my Mom died, Chantel and I both started doing this in our sleep. It drove Amber crazy (we were all sharing a room). She said it sounded like we were chewing on marbles.

I'm not sure what has me so stressed out right now. But if I don't stop soon, Kurt has threatened to get me a mouth guard. Which would be so hot.


My First Giveaway! (closed)



This is my 101st post!! I know, I know. I'm sorry it took so long to get here. I'll try to post more often in the future.

Because this is such a big deal, I am celebrating by hosting my first Giveaway! I have always wanted to win one, so I'm hoping that hosting one will up my chances. Good Karma, you know?

Here is what you need to do to enter:

Step 1: Become an official follower of Life in the Pitts. If you are already a follower, move directly to step two. If you are wondering "What the heck is following??" I will walk you through it. Go to your dashboard. Scroll down, and you will see an Add button. Click on that, and you can paste in my URL. Choose to follow publicly. Ta Daa!

Step 2: Leave a message on any new post this week.

That's it!

I will be giving away 3 handmade Fall magnets, which you will recognize from Salt Clay Madness

See? You know they are awesome. And ok, its true that Fall will pretty much be over by the time you get these. But you can save them for next year. This is kind of my trial-run giveaway; if it goes well (if I get a lot of interest) I will be giving away a lot of IN-SEASON stuff in the future!! Who knows- down the line, I might even have enough traffic to do sponsored giveaways.

The contest closes at midnight, this Friday the 27th. 3 of you lucky people will be chosen at random (I'm thinking names from a hat with a blindfold).

So to clarify- Three lucky followers will each receive one of these beauties. Since this is my first giveaway, I am starting small. Only one entry per person. But I look forward to hosting many of these in the future!


Saturday, November 21, 2009

I miss...



stealing borrowing my roommates clothes


Friday, November 20, 2009

Thanksgiving Decorations



We are so ready for Thanksgiving!

Well, our apartment is.







And then there's all the stuff I made. I can definitely stop complaining now.


Tax Free



Pittsburgh has weird taxes. Or, I guess, they have weird tax exceptions.

I understand not taxing essentials, like food.

But lingerie? How is that a necessity? This is especially weird because I heard that all other clothing is taxed. I just know that law was put through by some creepy old men.

I'm not complaining. But I am a little weirded out.

(((Ok, good news. I guess I heard wrong, and ALL clothes in Pittsburgh are tax free. Which makes me feel better)))


At least its not dial up



The internet is so spazzy here. Sometimes it is SUPER fast. Like, I'll upload 6 pictures at a time, and its done in 20 seconds. And other times it takes hours to upload a single picture. I check the speed of the internet every morning before I do anything else, thinking WILL THIS BE THE DAY I PUNCH THE COMPUTER IN THE FACE?

So now whenever I have a picture I might someday maybe even kind of want to write a post about, I upload it as soon as I can, and just save it as a draft. I have over 25 in there right now.


Thursday, November 19, 2009

Blisters and Blueberries





Here is my adorable sister in law, Annie. She is awesome at being thoughtful and baking stuff to give away. She is really bad at eating pies.

I decided to make some blueberry pancakes tonight. When we lived with her and my brother before moving out here, she made these for us. And they were like a revelation. I asked her for the recipe, and she got this deer-in-headlights look. "But... I don't know! I just make them!" I finally got her to write it down, and I think they are so funny!

1/2 box bisquick
1 egg
pinch of salt
palm of sugar
3/4 pint blueberries
some water

That's it! They are really easy to make. The "some water" part is tricky- you'll want the batter to be thicker than normal pancakes, because these are more cakey. And you'll want to cook them on medium low heat, so they cook through and don't burn.

I suggest NOT making them when you are half asleep. Because that was me tonight. You end up doing dumb things. I finally woke up all the way when I casually grabbed the pan, instead of the handle. Um, yeah. That hurt SO MUCH.


Salt Clay Madness



I decided to branch out from my scrapbooking supplies. I wanted to try something that had nothing to do with paper. When I saw this. and this. I knew my next project was going to be awesome (that's where I got the idea from, and all the instructions are in those links).

These crafts may or may not be designed for 4th graders.

I started by making salt dough (the recipe is here.) It was sticky, messy, and I was afraid for my cameras life (so no pictures of this part).

Here are my little guys, fresh from the oven.

And here is after I painted them and glazed them with the shiny kind of Mod Podge. Detailed instructions are on those sites I linked above. I guess I should add that for the turkeys, I watered down the paint, so it was more of a wash, and added brown to the bright colors. Just thought it looked better.


And a close up on the Turkeys! I totally thought I'd like the leaves better, but I am loving these little guys!

I have no idea what to do with them all. I forgot to poke holes in them for string. If you have any ideas, let me know.


I am Thankful



For the little dinging noise the car makes when I forget to turn off the headlights.

Last year my car didn't do that, and I killed it 8 times.


HEY! Get back to work!



I just got home from a Twilight party. At midnight. And this is what I found.


Poor guy. I'm excited for him to have a break!

I am Thankful for Thanksgiving.


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

My Siblings



(Jimmy, David, Me and my husband Kurt, Chantel, Amber)


I miss them


Give Thanks



I noticed my bathroom wasn't festive. And decided to do something about it. This isn't a super original idea, but I like how it turned out.



I'm working on my tutorial skills. So even though this is pretty self explanatory, I'm gonna give you a run down.

First, I decided on a theme for the colors (orange, yellow, green, and black). I picked out the papers, and started cutting.

(yes, I took this picture with my chin)

Then I painted the letters with mismatched fonts


Next I Mod Podged everything, and tied the pieced together with Raffia.


And Viola! This banner reminds me to be Thankful for indoor plumbing.


Tuesday, November 17, 2009

It's not fun



realizing you forgot your wallet

when you are standing in line at the grocery store


Lingerie



There will soon be a new Second Year Wife here at the Dental School (ha, it sounds like a compound when I say it like that). Tonight I am going to Rachel's Bridal Shower. And of course, I'm bringing lingerie.

I'm kind of an expert on buying this stuff. Back when Amber (my sister) was turning 16, I couldn't find her a present. I was walking around WalMart, my 7th store, when it caught my eye: a pink bra and thong set, COVERED in feathers. So tacky. So perfect.

Unsuspecting, she opened it in front of a group of friends at her party. She turned bright red, and shoved it back into the bag. It was so funny. For my birthday, she retaliated. And a tradition was born.

Every Birthday, Christmas, anything with presents all the girls get "sister's gifts." By the time we all got married, we had drawers full of the stuff. Some of it is cute, and some of it is really awful (or confusing). And we always try to disguise the package, so it gets opened in front of everyone. The guys in the family know not to ask when one of us starts to open something, and then quickly shoves it under the table.

So that's the history. And here are some tips I've learned over the years:

1. Try to keep a record of your friends sizes, so you don't have to ask before a birthday. "What's your bra size" is a dead give away.

2. It doesn't have to fit them perfectly. It's not like it stays on that long.

3. There is no need to go for the expensive stuff. Victoria's Secret is nice, but you can get some awesome stuff for less

Which brings me to the real reason for this post. Burlington Coat Factory. They have THE BEST lingerie. The selection varies from store to store, but it is always $10. And it is high quality. The one out here has a HUGE lingerie section, with everything from naughty maid costumes to silky babydolls. So next time you are going to a bridal shower, or just want a gag gift, check it out.


Playing Poker



We weren't the only ones who over-bought the halloween candy. Last night the Warner's decided to do something about it. They invited a bunch of people over, and we gambled it all away.

Well, they gambled it all away. And I ended up with everything.


I love Texas Hold 'Em, and I love winning, but I'm not so sure I love having 20 lbs of candy in my house. Especially when I'm hungry, and those KitKat's are tempting me...

Crap.


Monday, November 16, 2009

Casting stones- at myself.



I've decided that the only posts really worth reading on here are under the My Favorites label (but those ones are totally worth the time). And maybe the Being Crafty ones, if you want to be inspired by a Beginning Crafter (that way you'll know you can do it too). Am I being overly critical here?

I was wondering if I should channel my blog more, or just let it be a free flowing thing- you know, whatever's on my mind. Input, anyone?


Sunday, November 15, 2009

Thankful Tree



Before Jamie could come over yesterday, she had to wait for Peter to finish his nap. The kid slept for 4 hours!I kept myself busy though. Don't worry.

As you know, I've been irritated with the lack of Thanksgiving decorations. It's a blessing in disguise though, because it's forcing me to get creative! I got the idea for this craft here (but I didn't do the interactive stuff. I just wanted wall art). I'll walk you through it, in case you want to make it sometime.

First I picked out the papers. Then I made a stencil (I used my printer and an exacto blade). I grabbed some black paint, and Mod Podge, and I used some leaves from the Dollar Store. I mounted everything on a piece of cardboard (gotta use those moving boxes for something!). And finally some Raffia. That's it for materials.



First I glued on the brown cardstock as the ground, and the striped paper as the sky.



Then I cut out a strip of Orange, backed it with White, and taped on my homemade stencil. I used black paint instead of ink, cause it was easier.



Then I cut out the tree, and put everything together. The leaves made me nervous, but most of them stayed on!

I braided some Raffia, and then couldn't figure out how to attach it. I wanted the picture to lay flat against the wall. Finally, I grabbed 2 wire twist ties from the kitchen, and used those(I hope this part makes sense). I poked holes in the upper corners of the cardboard, under the leaves. Then I ran the twist ties through. Finally, I attached the raffia to the twist ties on the sides of the picture.

This is probably my favorite craft yet.


Craft Night



Kurt is getting his study on, and so I invited the other First Year Wives over to help me Be Crafty (its so much more fun when you aren't doing it alone). I figured their husbands are studying for the same test, so we should band together!

Jamie and her adorable little boy Peter (who I just want to steal) came over. We played, glued stuff, and ate brownies. It was a good night. She had never used Mod Podge before, so I decided making frames would be a good beginners project.


Here is Peter, trying to Dutch Dance

We used my Fall paper, and made collages. Here is Jamie, posing with her first Pittsburgh craft!


This is hers


This is mine (I like hers better)


And here they are being friends.



Yup, we are talented :)


Paranoid



I feel like one of those old ladies who is always looking out her window, spying on her neighbors, ready to report anything "suspicious" to the police. This is what happens when you stay home all the time- you get old and paranoid. Still, this is kinda' creepy...


This van is parked across the street right now. It's nowhere near the stores, and there is someone sitting in the front seat.

They've been there for at least 3 hours.

And they are there every day. EVERY DAY. Just sitting there, in their van, for hours and hours. I think it's suspicious. I've tried to figure out what they could be doing there EVERY DAY, but only a few things come to mind. They could be FBI agents, monitoring a high profile criminal (not likely). They could be the criminals, casing the joint (the joint being my apartment, of course). Or maybe they have a computer in there, which they use to steal peoples bank account information when they log on using one of the many unsecured wireless networks in the area.

I thought about calling the police, but remember that whole turning-into-a-crazy-old-lady-thing? Yeah, I want to avoid that. So instead, I just get out the binoculars, and peek through the blinds every day. Which is so much better.


The Perfect Autumn Apple




This apple just looks like Fall to me!


Saturday, November 14, 2009

myspace much?




This picture is a shout out to my old friend, myspace.


Friday, November 13, 2009

Crap



Yesterday morning Kurt had to go to campus to prepare for his debate. But we couldn't find the keys. We looked everywhere! Around the computer, in yesterdays clothes, on my nightstand. I'm pretty good at losing things, but still... Finally I said a prayer. And immediately I thought of somewhere to look (divine intervention? yes, I think so). After a second, I decided to ignore that prompting. Because if it was right, I'd never live it down.

5 minutes later I heard the front door open. Crap. Then Kurt said, "I found them." I glared at him as he took the keys out of the lock, daring him to say something.

That's right. I left the keys IN OUR FRONT DOOR. OVERNIGHT. IN HOMESTEAD. I'm glad no one walking by wanted a new car.

Sometimes I even impress myself...


Oh snipe!



Guess who just bought another cracked mirror...


I am really bad at...



Only buying a few things at the grocery store.


Decor



I'm trying to make our apartment more homey. There's only so much we can do with white walls... but we are trying!


Pretty, yes?


Character Flaws



I just made a new label: Character Flaws. There are currently 27 posts outlining some of my less-desirable traits. For some reason I get a kick out of writing about how awful I am.

Enjoy.


Murphy's Law (sort of)



Of course. If the internet is going to be extremely slow, it would do it when I'm trying to upload 6 pictures for my most exciting post ever.

I am much too impatient for this.


Thursday, November 12, 2009

Change



YES! Kurt was already asleep when I got home tonight, and all I could think was THE COMPUTER IS MINE. And oh yeah, too bad Kurt isn't up... BUT ITS WORTH IT IF I CAN USE THE INTERNET.

My Dad sent me a Thanksgiving package today! I was so happy- its been really hard to find anything to decorate with. Looking around at the stores, you'd think Thanksgiving didn't even exist! Its like the forgotten holiday. I guess the stores have all decided that the only important thing about Thanksgiving is the shopping that takes place the morning after.

But back to the package. It was heavy. I read the label- the thing weighed 19lbs! I was all "Did he send me a Turkey...?" But when I got to the bottom of the box I found this.



So growing up my Dad always had a jar full of change. Whenever we wanted some money, he's have us reach in and grab a handful. The last time I did that was, oh, maybe 4 months ago? Knowing how much I've been missing home, my Dad decided to send me ALL OF HIS CHANGE. This way, I can reach in whenever I need a little spending money.

I love my Dad :)


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I'm like a junkie



Kurt's laptop isn't working right now. There was this unfortunate incident with the Power Cord and a Vacuum... Lets just say, the Power Cord lost.

Big time.

So Whenever Kurt is home, the desktop is his to study on. And since my laptop bit the dust a few months ago, I am computerless from the hours of five-midnight. That's probably not a bad thing, because I am online like ALL DAY. Still, if he turns his back for even a second BAM! That computer is mine! I hurriedly log onto Facebook and check the status updates, scan for comments on my blog (you guys need to leave me more of those), and try to fit in a few minutes of something on Hulu. I usually don't make it past that first step before he's back, and I'm banished to the real world. Waiting. Watching. Biding my time.

I hope that replacement Cord comes fast.


woot!



This is pretty much my favorite shirt of all time.



I love woot.com


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Drama



In church on Sunday, someone got up to bear their testimony. And during their testimony, they said something about Dramatic People. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Kurt nodding sympathetically.

Excuse me?

"What are you nodding for??" I whispered, furious. He looked at me pointedly. "No! I am not Dramatic!" I huffed. He started laughing quietly. "Fine" I whispered intensely. "I'm not speaking to you. EVER AGAIN." He apologized, and rubbed my back for the rest of the meeting. I let him, but made sure to frown whenever our eyes met. To make sure he got the point.

Me? Dramatic? As if.


Monday, November 9, 2009

Note To Self



Giggling nervously during an interview is never a good idea.


Saturday, November 7, 2009

Last Year



I was just looking through some Facebook albums from last year, and I found these pictures from Halloween. I had such creative costumes! I didn't spend money on either of them- I just threw them together from my closet. You'll notice that both of them are a little bit skanky...

I wanted to be a Super Villain. And since I was in Utah, I became...



THE NCMO BANDIT!!



(Yup, that's me making out with myself.)

But one costume was not enough. I hadn't gotten around to making the cape yet for my real costume (the NCMO one) and so I threw this together last minute for a party the week before Halloween.



Yes I was Barbie. And yes, I ratted my hair.



And YES this is a lifesize cut out of Zach Efron. Kendra was obsessed. But he loved me more. He is one of the few things I miss about being single.

This is probably my last shout out to my 2nd favorite holiday. I'll miss you, Halloween. See you next year!


Maybe I should be a morning person



This has been the most productive morning ever!
I got up at 6, and since then I've read a whole book (the secret life of bees), worked out at the gym, gone to the library, gone shopping, planned some Christmas projects, written 2 (almost) blogs, read all the new blog posts, made out with Kurt, started dinner, watched some tv online- and it's only 12:30! That's more stuff than I usually get done in a whole day.

Maybe I should wake up more often.


Good Morning



Well, I woke up at 6am today. That was weird. I tried to go back to sleep, but gave up and read for a few hours instead. At 8ish I got up and showered. Now I'm checking out the internet, and listening to Kurt's alarm go off every 5 minutes.

I think it's gonna be a good day.


Friday, November 6, 2009

Spooky



We woke up to a world of fog today. Looking out the window, I wondered "Where did everything go?" Walking to the car I lost track of Kurt. He was 3 feet in front of me, and he completely disappeared in the thick white mist. It was so cool. Next year, I'd like to order this weather for Halloween. It would be perfect.

I wanted to take a picture, but I couldn't find my camera. So you're gonna have to take my word for it with this one.


Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Bed Head



this morning, Kurt turned on the light and reached for his alarm clock. then he turned to me- and started laughing.



This is what happens when I fall asleep with wet hair.


He studies in his sleep



Kurt fell asleep on the couch. And by the time I realized it, he was out. It took like 5 minutes to get him to even respond to me.

"I don't think carrying you is gonna work dude. Any idea how I'm gonna get you to bed?" "Uuuuhhhnnnnn..." He responded, unintelligibly. "Hey" I shook him gently. "Buddy. I need ideas. How can we get you to bed?" "Um...maybe try... Radiograph..."

Poor guy. He even dreams about dentistry.


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

See?



I can write short posts, too.


My life's ambition



Kurt thinks I should write a book. He wants me to channel all my blogging into a best-seller that will make us rich beyond our wildest dreams. It could be a fictional book. Or a self-help book; maybe about how to sleep for 16 hours strait "there are insomniacs out there who would pay to learn your secrets!" (my secret is if you stay up long enough, you are bound to end up in a 2-day coma).

I think its a terrible idea. Yes, I love to read, and Yes, I've thought about this before. I've even started stories, and scribbled down plot lines. But after a while I get bored. The notebooks get put on a shelf (ok, who am I kidding? they get shoved under my pillow and fall off the bed and get eaten by the knee-deep pile of clothes living on my floor), and I move onto something else.

Also, I don't think I'd be good at it. Sure, I have no trouble filling up space HERE. But I'm writing about myself- and I'm kind of an expert on that subject. But if I tried to put this crap in a book, who would buy it? No one. Oh, a few of you might, out of loyalty. And the rest of you would receive signed copies from me for Christmas. And your birthdays. And every other holiday for the rest of your lives (Well, I'd have to do something with all of the copies). Lets face it: it would be the kind of book you might check out at the library, but wouldn't want to actually go buy.

And here is the other thing- I'm going to be too busy working on my Life's Ambition to be a famous Author. Jetting around for Oprah interviews and press releases would get in the way of me being a Trophy Wife. Orange skin, platinum extensions, an addiction to Botox. Hosting parties and saying things like "Why Ted! You are such a tease!" to portly old men who are staring at my expensively enhanced chest. That is the life! Why else would I marry a Dentist? I even have a t-shirt:



(I actually bought this years ago, at Steve and Barry's. I get a kick out of wearing it when I'm cleaning the bathroom. When Kurt saw it he was all "Um, you probably shouldn't let my Dad see that." Which is yet another reason why I hope his parents don't find out about my secret blogging passion.)

Well, shoot. I noticed that my last few posts have been really long, and I was determined to keep it short today. See? There's another reason why writing a book is a bad idea: I'd shoot for 300 pages, and end up with a thousand.

Did this post have a point? Probably not. If it did, I lost it somewhere around "liposuction."


Monday, November 2, 2009

Genetic Traits



I was flipping through the radio this morning while driving home. I stopped when I recognized the opening chords to Days Gone By by Keith Urban (yes, I like country music). The lyrics stood out to me.

I'm changing lanes and talkin' on the phone drivin' way too fast. And the interstate's jammed with gunners like me Afraid of comin' in last.

Wow. Well said. I love when you hear a song and it just rings true, and you even recognize yourself (although that's not always a fun moment) and it makes you see the world a little clearer and TELL ME YOU DID NOT JUST CUT ME OFF. And oh my gosh are you REALLY going 20 mph slower than I am??!

I hit my brakes in disbelief. THE ROAD WAS EMPTY BEHIND ME. Couldn't they have waited like 2 more seconds???

I clamped down on the urge to honk my horn, since the moment had passed and I think drivers are a lot like dogs. Unless you shove their nose into the poop first, they're not gonna know why you hit them.

So I settled for yelling a few satisfying expletives at the windshield, and realized that Oh My Gosh, I am turning into my Grandmother.

My Grandma Chamberlain is this cute little lady who went to Catholic School back before we all knew what that meant (wink wink). Whose waist was 19 inches the day she married my Grandfather.

Who whenever I would say "So what?" in my snotty little 5-yr-old voice, would reply "Sew buttons on balloons, that's what!"

She is all prim and proper and obsessed with NASCAR. Yeah, didn't see that one coming, did you?

She's all ladylike until the engines start roaring- that's when her wild side comes out. She yells and curses and cheers on her favorites (I think Jeff Gordon might have replaced me in the will).

Most people who know her can't imagine it. Unless they've driven with her. Then it all makes sense. My Grandma INVENTED road rage. One time when I was 3, she took me shopping. The first thing I said when I got home was, "Momma, what does Jackass mean?"

So I come by this trait honestly (which is a funny saying. Don't worry guys- I didn't steal this genetic disposition!). I also get my short stature and the general shape of my nose from that lady. But I am not into NASCAR.

...Although if I really am turning into my Grandma, I can't make any promises.

Pray for me?


T-3 Hours



Until Kurt's Final begins.

I just logged onto my old Yahoo! account for the first time in months. There wasn't much in there except some online coupons for Borders and Archivers (and one very tempting offer to have my penis enlarged). I made that account back in 2004, the summer I worked for Victoria's Secret (which is why I oh-so-creatively named it after my favorite bra line: angels_collection2004@yahoo.com. Nope, I am not joking). I also worked for a blueberry farm that summer, putting together boxes all day, listening to country music, and smiling at the ladies working on the line (They didn't speak English, I didn't speak Spanish, and Green Cards were something on the Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell list. I was getting paid under the table, and I'm pretty sure the government was under the impression that the whole farm was being run with less than 10 employees). Those were the days.

I was just gonna write a quick note about how much I appreciate Gmail's excellent spam-blocking technology. But it's late, and I love tangents...


Sunday, November 1, 2009

Blah



Remember the good old days? Back when being sick meant you got to stay home from school, and get some one on one time with mom? Not only did you get to watch cartoons all day, and eat as much soup and crackers as you could stand, but you totally got to miss that spelling test that you hadn't studied for (Bologna? are you kidding me? That can't be right). And even when you weren't faking it, everyone treated you special and that sort of made up for the puking and the fever.

Yeah, I miss those days.


It's Turkey Time



You may now change your backgrounds.

Just not to Christmas ones.


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