Monday, November 2, 2009

Genetic Traits



I was flipping through the radio this morning while driving home. I stopped when I recognized the opening chords to Days Gone By by Keith Urban (yes, I like country music). The lyrics stood out to me.

I'm changing lanes and talkin' on the phone drivin' way too fast. And the interstate's jammed with gunners like me Afraid of comin' in last.

Wow. Well said. I love when you hear a song and it just rings true, and you even recognize yourself (although that's not always a fun moment) and it makes you see the world a little clearer and TELL ME YOU DID NOT JUST CUT ME OFF. And oh my gosh are you REALLY going 20 mph slower than I am??!

I hit my brakes in disbelief. THE ROAD WAS EMPTY BEHIND ME. Couldn't they have waited like 2 more seconds???

I clamped down on the urge to honk my horn, since the moment had passed and I think drivers are a lot like dogs. Unless you shove their nose into the poop first, they're not gonna know why you hit them.

So I settled for yelling a few satisfying expletives at the windshield, and realized that Oh My Gosh, I am turning into my Grandmother.

My Grandma Chamberlain is this cute little lady who went to Catholic School back before we all knew what that meant (wink wink). Whose waist was 19 inches the day she married my Grandfather.

Who whenever I would say "So what?" in my snotty little 5-yr-old voice, would reply "Sew buttons on balloons, that's what!"

She is all prim and proper and obsessed with NASCAR. Yeah, didn't see that one coming, did you?

She's all ladylike until the engines start roaring- that's when her wild side comes out. She yells and curses and cheers on her favorites (I think Jeff Gordon might have replaced me in the will).

Most people who know her can't imagine it. Unless they've driven with her. Then it all makes sense. My Grandma INVENTED road rage. One time when I was 3, she took me shopping. The first thing I said when I got home was, "Momma, what does Jackass mean?"

So I come by this trait honestly (which is a funny saying. Don't worry guys- I didn't steal this genetic disposition!). I also get my short stature and the general shape of my nose from that lady. But I am not into NASCAR.

...Although if I really am turning into my Grandma, I can't make any promises.

Pray for me?


1 comment:

Magistros = MC² said...

Whatever, you have a shrine of Jeff Gordon and Dale Earnhardt Jr. hidden in your closet.

Also, i don't know where you got your nose from, but Ambers is like grandma C's... unless i'm mistaken. Which is possible.

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